Governor Palin Was Not A Completely Unknown Quantity To The Readers Of Apoloblogology

That is, if you remember correctly.

Upon The Feast Of St. Raymond Nonnatus

Oddly enough, not the official patron saint of lockjaw.

Preach the gospel at all times, and if they throw you in prison and seal your mouth shut by piercing through your lips with a red-hot padlock, you're off the hook on the whole "using words" thing.

From The McCain You Hear Me Now Files: You Would, If I Were Saying Anything

Hand check!

Alternate headline: "TIME Magazine Throws John McCain A Softball Question And He Uses It As Yet Another Opportunity To Utterly Blow His Shot At The Presidency."

Obama would have answered this question so charismatically that the reporter would have giggled and blushed:

Q: A lot of people know about your service from your books, but most people don't know that you have two sons currently in the military. Can you describe what it means to have Jack and Jimmy in uniform?
A. We don't discuss our sons.

It's like he's not even trying. Who's paying this guy to throw the ballgame?

Upon The Feast Of St. Augustine

Perhaps this loquacious doctor of the Church could be invoked as the patron saint of politics:

"Already I had learned from thee that because a thing is eloquently expressed it should not be taken to be as necessarily true; nor because it is uttered with stammering lips should it be supposed false. Nor, again, is it necessarily true because rudely uttered, nor untrue because the language is brilliant. Wisdom and folly both are like meats that are wholesome and unwholesome, and courtly or simple words are like town-made or rustic vessels--both kinds of food may be served in either kind of dish."

Also, on August 28, 1565, St Augustine, the oldest surviving European settlement in the United States was established.

Also, on August 28, 2008, debate continued to rage in the American political scene as the vapid and vacuous verbage of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi invoked St. Augustine in hopes of proving that the Church at times has favored abortion, but you certainly won't hear anything about that on this blog.

Mark Shea And I Discuss Whether Or Not The Discovery Of Extraterrestrial Intelligence Would Swiftly And Comprehensively Negate All Religious Belief

Tomorrow morning at 6:40 on You Know Where.

Not that any of you will be awake...

Why Do I Feel Like I've Seen This Year's Democratic National Convention Before?

Apologies. This was the best version of this I could find.

A Promise

Here at Apoloblogology, we're dedicating ourselves to being the only Catholic blog not talking about Nancy Pelosi.

This Day In History

On August 26, 1498, Michelangelo was commissioned to sculpt The Pieta, one of the most recognizable pieces of Christian art in history, because Ninja Turtles worship the Virgin Mary.

LiveBlogging

Is it just me, or does everyone in the crowd at the DNC look like the people on top of that skyscraper in Independence Day just before they get vaporized?

And why have I developed a sudden gag reflex whenever I see a white person?

Upon The Feast Of St. Bartholomew

Patron saint of leather workers.

I freaking love this religion.

"Praising You Eternally?"

For the record, the line is "Call us to rejoice in thee." Or it should be, at least. In this case, as in the case of many other modernist vandalizations of the hymnody of the Church, not only the wording, but also the meaning intended by Henry Van Dyke (1862-1933) has been changed. In the original, the flowering meadow and the flashing sea were inviting us to join in their praise of our common Creator. According to the bastardization I was recently subjected to, they seem to be doing it on their own.

Note to the editors of Gather: I still feel like I've been punched in the gut whenever I go to sing a classic hymn from memory and you change the text and make me look like a fool for belting out the right words.

1,001

This post has the palindromic distinction of being the one thousand and first post since we began our foray into the blogosphere on the festival of Cinco de Moustache in 2006. Two years, three months, and seventeen days later, we're still happy to pay the chickens to peck out our thoughts and broadcast them to the international community in digital form.

Another Interview I Am Not Likely To Schedule: The Face Bra

Sorry for the dearth of these in recent days. They've been coming at me with increasing frequency of late.

Do you have chubby cheeks? What about a persistent double chin that still "hangs around" even after you've lost weight?

"Shrinking a double chin is often difficult unless you address the underlying cause," says Vicki Southard, creator of The Face Bra, a system that lifts and tightens neck and facial skin by reducing water retention and inflammation beneath the surface.

"Reduced circulation in the under-chin area can often cause a build up of metabolic waste that causes the area to bloat or swell," says Southard.

"Special minerals in The Face Bra flush away these wastes, allowing The Bra to compact and tighten the skin."

Southard says not only can The Face Bra reduce and lift the under-chin area and shrink down those chubby cheeks, but people often find their entire face trimmed, smoothed and softened after a few applications. "Most people will see visible changes after two to six at-home treatments," she says.

Southard says four of the most common reasons double chins can develop are:

1. Excess body weight. Do you tend to store fat under the chin area?

2. Water retention. Are you a water retainer?

3. Hereditary disposition. Do your parents have double chins? Is this a family trait?

4. Normal aging and maturity process. Are you beginning to show signs of aging?

Even if you fall into one of the above categories, Southard says not to worry. Just "keep your chin up" as you follow her "7-Step Double Chin Slim-down Plan":

1. Exercise your face. Facial Exercises work wonders!
Use these two exercises for 5 minutes a day to firm the under-chin area:
- 2-3 minutes per day-Press your tongue against the roof of your mouth so the
under-chin tightens. Tighten the tongue, relax, tighten the tongue, relax.
- 2-3 minutes per day-Pull your chin up as you tighten the muscles under your chin.
Tighten and relax, tighten and relax.

2. Lose weight. A good way to reduce a double chin is to lose weight.

3. Eat healthy fresh foods and drink at least 8 cups of water per day.

4. Use a pure, well balanced Omega 3/Omega 6 oil. This will soften and moisten the skin from the inside out.

5. Use make up to accent your eyes and cheekbones and draw attention from the neck and chin area.

6. Avoid wearing anything that will draw attention to your neck. Add a loose scarf. Broad necklines are usually more flattering for double chins. Stay away from turtlenecks, chokers and long earrings that dangle below the jaw.

7. Use "The Face Bra" with Minerals for 45 minutes, 2-3 times per week to reduce puffiness and tighten the skin.

"Cosmetic surgery should be the last resort," says Vicki. "Too many people choose surgery or suction as their first remedy. It's smarter to fix the cause of the double chin. Otherwise you may see it return."

About Vicki Southard:

Creator of The Face Bra, a natural system that tightens and nourishes the skin while it deeply cleanses, Vicki initially created The Face Bra to naturally improve her own skin. She lives in Florida, close to the Gulf of Mexico, with her 2 children, husband, and several animals.

Upon The Feast Of Pope St. Pius X

The 257th pope, but certainly not the last.

Another Interview I Am Not Likely To Schedule: Billy Johnson

Sounds like a fake name to me.

Can you believe that this month, two of the biggest entertainment icons in the world, Madonna and Michael Jackson, are turning 50? Celebrating nearly a century of musical genius between the two of them, they reach an age where most would plan for retirement, and yet they stay immortal in popular culture.

With thousands of one-hit wonders, trends and gimmicks rising and falling in the last 50 years, MJ and Madge have transcended every "phase,” continuously reinvented themselves and have managed to not fit into, but shape the entertainment scene. Their music stays in heavy rotation, their many "looks” are continuously emulated, and their influence is apparent in the chart-toppers less than half their age. How?

Yahoo! Music senior musicologist, Billy Johnson can discuss the source and impact of these icons' tremendous impact on music and culture, what led to their overwhelming global success, what might be next – and who might be capable of following in their footsteps.

Billy Johnson can discuss:

- What have they contributed to the music industry?

- What did they do right over the years to overcome the volatility of the music business?

- What specific hits were lynchpins of their success and why?

- What were their biggest mis-steps and controversies, and how did those affect their staying power?

- Are they done?

- Is anyone poised to be the next MJ or Madonna?

Billy has more than 15 years of experience covering all aspects of the music industry and his blog "Hip-Hop Media Training” is one of the most popular on Yahoo!

Yipes. How does one respond?

Option 1: "Billy Johnson is not my interviewee. He's just a blogger who claims that I am the producer..."

Option 2: "Don't cry for me, Billy Johnson, the truth is I'll never interview you..."

Upon The Feast Of St. Bernard Of Clairvaux

"O Loving Jesus, Meek Lamb of God, I miserable sinner, salute and worship the most Sacred Wound of Thy Shoulder on which Thou didst bear Thy heavy Cross, which so tore Thy Flesh and laid bare Thy Bones as to inflict on Thee an anguish greater than any other wound of Thy Most Blessed Body. I adore Thee, O Jesus most sorrowful; I praise and glorify Thee and give Thee thanks for this most sacred and painful Wound, beseeching Thee by that exceeding pain and by the crushing burden of Thy heavy Cross, to be merciful to me, a sinner, to forgive me all my mortal and venial sins and to lead me on towards Heaven along the Way of Thy Cross. Amen."

In The Words Of Stephen Baldwin, Comic-Con Edition

Tip of the Jesus Fish Hat to EEGAHINC.

A Friendly Reminder From The Friendly Folks At Apoloblogology

Upon The Feast Of The Assumption Of The Blessed Virgin Mary

Get yer you-know-what to Mass.

Another Interview I Am Not Likely To Schedule: The Search For The Capital Of The Pierogy Pocket

MEDIA ADVISORY

WHAT: Mrs. T's Pierogies has announced the 3rd annual search for the Capital of the Pierogy Pocket.

WHY: Mrs. T's looks to recognize and celebrate the most pierogy-impassioned city, town or organization within the Pierogy Pocket with a $10,000 grand prize to be used towards a local charitable endeavor.

WHEN: The deadline for entry is September 15, 2008.

WHO: All cities, towns and non-profit organizations within the Pierogy Pocket are eligible for entry. The Pierogy Pocket - an area of the country in the Northeast and parts of the Midwest where pierogy consumption is higher than anywhere else in the nation - spans cities and towns throughout Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, Illinois, and includes parts of New York, southern New England and the Mid-Atlantic region.

HOW: Entering is easy and fun - just visit www.pierogypocket.com to download the official rules and entry form! All submitted entries must include at least one tangible example of pierogy passion such as a letter from the mayor, favorite pierogy recipes, a petition signed by local citizens, or a video displaying local pierogy pride.

This Day In History

On August 12, 1883, the last quagga died in captivity in the Artis Magistra zoo in Amsterdam.

For those not familiar with the quagga, it was like a zebra wearing horse pants.

Coming Soon: Cloak Of Invisibility

Leave it to the military to come up with stuff that scares the daylights out of me.

Maybe I should rephrase that:

Leave it to the military to come up with stuff that bends the daylights around me:

Xiang Zhang, the leader of the researchers, said: “In the case of invisibility cloaks or shields, the material would need to curve light waves completely around the object like a river flowing around a rock.” An observer looking at the cloaked object would then see light from behind it – making it seem to disappear.

Substances capable of achieving such feats are known as “meta-materials” and have the power to “grab” electromagnetic radiation and deflect it smoothly. No such material occurs naturally and it is only in the past few years that nano-scale engineering, manipulating matter at the level of atoms and molecules, has advanced sufficiently to give scientists the chance to create them.

Memo to the ancient art of Ninjitsu: you are about to become obsolete.

By the way, before the cloak of invisibility became a scientific phenomenon, it was attempted by the First Earth Battalion as a psychic phenomenon. No joke.

Upon The Feast Of St. Clare Of Assisi

Dear St. Clare, inspired by St. Francis, you became a poor nun for the sake of Jesus, and established the "Poor Clares." We are told how greatly you cherished Christ present in the Sacrament of the Altar. Is the Mass not a kind of television of Christ's sacrifice on the Cross? Help all television workers to broadcast the truth and draw away from falsehood and evil. Amen.

Bernie Mac, 1957-2008

You will be missed.

I tried to post something clean.

The Dark Knight And The Soul: A Conversation With Dr. Thomas Hibbs, Part I

Dr. Hibbs is a Distinguished Professor of Ethics and Culture at Baylor University, and the author of “Arts of Darkness: American Noir and the Quest for Redemption.”

Dr. Hibbs, It’s not too often that a film captures the attention of critics and fans, as well as philosophers and theologians, but The Dark Knight has done just exactly that. What makes it the subject of your own interest?

It fits very nicely with the topic that I was investigating for… Arts of Darkness, because it is… as everyone has noticed who’s reviewed it, a very dark film. It’s dark, especially in terms of its subject matter and its characters, and yet I think viewers sense that there’s something more than mere darkness and violence in the film. There are serious questions being asked in the film about the nature of evil, with the remarkable performance of Heath Ledger as the Joker, a character whom I think exceeds any previous villain in any superhero film ever made, in terms of the seriousness with which we are to take the evil that he pursues and unleashes upon Gotham. And then it raises questions about the pursuit of justice in the midst of a world that seems taken over and easily dominated by evil. There are characters we have questions about because of the evil they pursue, but there are also good questions, good characters, whom we sympathize with, a number of them members of the police force... and Batman himself is a sort of question mark as to his exact character, but I think ends up in the film as a kind of admirable character.

As a Catholic, and as someone who thinks about these things, do you think this film tells the truth about evil?

It doesn’t tell the whole truth about evil, but it certainly… forces us to reckon with the reality of evil. One of the reasons… that the Joker character is a more serious embodiment of evil is because typically in superhero films, the bad guys, the villains, are motivated by a kind of petty jealousy, or they’ve had some kind of freakish accident happen to them in the laboratory when they’ve been doing weird scientific experiments, and suddenly they’re turned against the good guys… but what’s interesting about the Joker is that we’re given no account of the origins or the cause of the evil that he pursues. In fact, in a couple cases, he begins to tell stories about how he got his scars, and we realize after the second story that he’s simply making these up. I think... in the modern world we keep wanting through science or criminality or through psychology to say that something must have happened to this person to make him or her evil, and I think in this case it is a kind of freely chosen evil that the Joker pursues. So we’re left with a question mark about the reality of evil. The seeming love of destruction and mayhem, and especially in this case, the love of tearing down those who seem good- the kind of deepest evil is simply that [which] wants to destroy goodness because it can’t be in the same room with goodness and take it seriously. And so in that sense, I think it goes a certain measure in the direction of taking evil quite seriously.

I’m kind of reminded of the anarchists in G.K. Chesterton’s book “The Man Who Was Thursday, who only valued civilization as an object of destruction.

I think that’s exactly right in this case. I think that indicates… that this sort of evil, this pursuit of nothingness, which is really what the Joker is trying to be about, is in a sense parasitic. It presupposes that there is goodness there, that there is a kind of order there that the Joker can try to erode. We’re easily transfixed by the character of the Joker in this film, but I think that says something about the priority of goodness over evil. As he says at one point, “I’m like the dog chasing the car; I wouldn’t know what to do if I caught it." What he wants to do is to simply chase and disrupt. He has no notion of setting up something positive as a rival, and so evil in this case is actually parasitic on goodness. It presupposes goodness as something that it can work upon and try and destroy.

Well, that’s how we understand the created order anyway. As Catholics, we understand that good predates evil, and evil cannot exist unless it serves as a parasite on the good. At one point, the Joker tells Batman, “you complete me,” and he says it in a joking sense, but in another sense, it’s actually the case, because there is no opportunity for evil to exist independently of good. It’s always a perversion; it’s always a distortion.

Exactly.

This Is Real

Focus On The Family Asks People To Pray For Rain During The Democratic National Convention

Aleksandr Solzhenitzyn, 1918-2008

"When truth is discovered by someone else, it loses something of its attractiveness.”