In honor of the excommunication of the schismatic local tyrant-philosopher Savonarola on May 13, 1497, we here at Apoloblogology suggest that our readers celebrate this day in the way that Savonarola himself might: with a Bonfire of the Vanities.
What, you may ask, is a Bonfire of the Vanities? In the days of Girolamo Savonarola, it was a gathering of things that might tempt one to sin, a throwing of them on a pile in the middle of the city, a lighting of them on fire, and the smoke of their burning going up for ever and ever (Rev 19:3). The vanities included in the bonfire were lewd images and statues, immoral writings, and sometimes even actual vanities, as in those pieces of furniture with mirrors on them.
So, to celebrate Savonarola's excommunication, we suggest that you gather all of the occasions of sin from around your own residence, whether they be lipstick, rock and roll, or copies of Grand Theft Auto IV, and, invoking the memory of Savonarola, douse them in lighter fluid and send them to hell.
If you prefer, as did Savonarola, to make this more of a public activity involving the torching of the vanities of others, we suggest that you go down to your local grocery store and repeat the above activity on the magazine racks at the checkout lanes.
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