The Fool Hath Said In His Heart, "There Is No God"

But occasionally, he comes up with some funny stuff. Case in point: satirical snake-oiler atheists have come up with a clever pseudo-ploy to write themselves into the living wills of rapture enthusiasts by taking care of their pets after they shed their clothes and shoot heavenward:

Do you wonder what is going to happen to your pets when Jesus descends from Heaven to re-unite the Church with the Father taking all Christians - dead and alive - up to Heaven? Will your pets be left behind with no-one to care for them?

Have no fear! We at Post Rapture Pet Care are confirmed atheists and as such will be part of the left behind when the time comes. Just because we are atheists doesn't mean we are not animal lovers. We adore all kind of pets and would love to look after your pets after you are gone.

For a small donation of £69.99 pounds, we will make sure your pets are well fed and taken care of long after you and your family have been taken up.

That's the latest from the "I Wish I Had Thought Of That First" files.