On July 30, 1733, the first Freemasons lodge opened in the United States. Since then, they have dedicated themselves to helping child burn victims, performing neo-pagan rituals, and keeping Nicholas Cage busy finding their treasure. Oh, and global domination. Feel free to use this anniversary as cause to celebrate your terror.
Famous Freemasons in our nation's history have included Gene Autry, Benedict Arnold, Mel Blanc, William Jennings Bryan, Bob Dole, Bob Evans, Henry Ford, J. Edgar Hoover, Harry Houdini, Bronson Pinchot, Franklin and Teddy Roosevelt, Colonel Sanders, Harry Truman, Cy Young, Brad Paisley?
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