I Hate It When This Kind Of A Plan Comes Together

Here's the latest round of hacks trying to destroy the last vestigial traces of happy nostalgia that I have about my childhood media viewing experiences:

Ridley Scott to Direct New A-Team Movie
Seriously. Like you can re-create Mr. T.

Kung Fu Panda Director Working On Live Action Screen Adaptation Of He-Man
Good luck being awesomer than Dolph Lundgren's interpretation.

Dropped By Walden Media, Voyage Of The Dawn Treader Picked Up By Fox
If they ruin this one like Walden did the first two, I am so done with this series.

Jackie Chan In Talks To Play Mr. Miyagi In Karate Kid Remake
I still don't think it'll make up for the fact that Will Smith's kid is playing Ralph Macchio.

Upon The Feast Of St. John Bosco

I think I'll practice my juggling today.

Prepare To Be Beamed

University of Geneva's Group of Applied Physics has apparently given her all she's got, developing a prototype of an actual teleporter. So far, the physicists have been able to teleport a single photon over four miles. The next step: teleporting an entire molecule, and then on from there. We shall see.

At best, such a device, if modified to transport human beings, could save us from risky situations involving alien life; at worst, we could end up being Mike Teevee'd to a fraction of our actual size. My own guess is that the first efforts to teleport will have mixed results, perhaps akin to those which take place at about the two minute mark in the video below.

Upon The Feast Of St Thomas Aquinas

In honor of the Dumb Ox himself, we offer one of our all-time favorite Thomistic anecdotes, as told by one of our all-time favorite authors, G.K. Chesterton:

It is a real case against conventional hagiography that it sometimes tends to make all saints seem to be the same. Whereas in fact no men are more different than saints; not even murderers. And there could hardly be a more complete contrast, given the essentials of holiness, than between St. Thomas and St. Louis. St. Louis was born a knight and a king; but he was one of those men in whom a certain simplicity, combined with courage and activity, makes it natural, and in a sense easy, to fulfil directly and promptly any duty or office, however official. He was a man in whom holiness and healthiness had no quarrel; and their issue was in action. He did not go in for thinking much, in the sense of theorising much. But, even in theory, he had that sort of presence of mind, which belongs to the rare and really practical man when he has to think. He never said the wrong thing; and he was orthodox by instinct.

In the old pagan proverb about kings being philosophers or philosophers kings, there was a certain miscalculation, connected with a mystery that only Christianity could reveal. For while it is possible for a king to wish much to be a saint, it is not possible for a saint to wish very much to be a king. A good man will hardly be always dreaming of being a great monarch; but, such is the liberality of the Church, that she cannot forbid even a great monarch to dream of being a good man. But Louis was a straight-forward soldierly sort of person who did not particularly mind being a king, any more than he would have minded being a captain or a sergeant or any other rank in his army.

Now a man like St. Thomas would definitely dislike being a king, or being entangled with the pomp and politics of kings; not only his humility, but a sort of subconscious fastidiousness and fine dislike of futility, often found in leisurely and learned men with large minds, would really have prevented him making contact with the complexity of court life. Also, he was anxious all his life to keep out of politics; and there was no political symbol more striking, or in a sense more challenging, at that moment, than the power of the King in Paris.

Paris was truly at that time an aurora borealis; a Sunrise in the North. We must realise that lands much nearer to Rome had rotted with paganism and pessimism and Oriental influences of which the most respectable was that of Mahound. Provence and all the South had been full of a fever of nihilism or negative mysticism, and from Northern France had come the spears and swords that swept away the unchristian thing. In Northern France also sprang up that splendour of building that shine like swords and spears: the first spires of the Gothic. We talk now of grey Gothic buildings; but they must have been very different when they went up white and gleaming into the northern skies, partly picked out with gold and bright colours; a new flight of architecture, as startling as flying-ships. The new Paris ultimately left behind by St. Louis must have been a thing white like lilies and splendid as the oriflamme.

It was the beginning of the great new thing: the nation of France, which was to pierce and overpower the old quarrel of Pope and Emperor in the lands from which Thomas came. But Thomas came very unwillingly, and, if we may say it of so kindly a man, rather sulkily. As he entered Paris they showed him from the hill that splendour of new spires beginning, and somebody said something like, "How grand it must be to own all this." And Thomas Aquinas only muttered, "I would rather have that Chrysostom MS. I can't get hold of."

Somehow they steered that reluctant bulk of reflection to a seat in the royal banquet hall; and all that we know of Thomas tells us that he was perfectly courteous to those who spoke to him, but spoke little, and was soon forgotten in the most brilliant and noisy clatter in the world: the noise of French talking. What the Frenchmen were talking about we do not know; but they forgot all about the large fat Italian in their midst, and it seems only too possible that he forgot all about them. Sudden silences will occur even in French conversation; and in one of these the interruption came.

There had long been no word or motion in that huge heap of black and white weeds, like motley in mourning, which marked him as a mendicant friar out of the streets, and contrasted with all the colours and patterns and quarterings of that first and freshest dawn of chivalry and heraldry. The triangular shields and pennons and pointed spears, the triangular swords of the Crusade, the pointed windows and the conical hoods, repeated everywhere that fresh French medieval spirit that did, in every sense, come to the point. But the colours of the coats were gay and varied, with little to rebuke their richness; for St. Louis, who had himself a special quality of coming to the point, had said to his courtiers, "Vanity should be avoided; but every man should dress well, in the manner of his rank, that his wife may the more easily love him."

And then suddenly the goblets leapt and rattled on the board and the great table shook, for the friar had brought down his huge fist like a club of stone, with a crash that startled everyone like an explosion; and had cried out in a strong voice, but like a man in the grip of a dream, "And that will settle the Manichees!"

The palace of a king, even when it is the palace of a saint, has it conventions. A shock thrilled through the court, and every one felt as if the fat friar from Italy had thrown a plate at King Louis, or knocked his crown sideways. They all looked timidly at the terrible seat, that was for a thousand years the throne of the Capets: and many there were presumably prepared to pitch the big black-robed beggarman out of the window.

But St. Louis, simple as he seemed, was no mere medieval fountain of honour or even fountain of mercy but also the fountain of two eternal rivers: the irony and the courtesy of France. And he turned to his secretaries, asking them in a low voice to take their tablets round to the sear of the absent-minded controversialist, and take a note of the argument that had just occurred to him; because it must be a very good one and he might forget it.

Today's Hypothetical Question Of The Day...

...comes from Creative Minority Report:

Because of laws precluding a British royal from marrying a Catholic, if Great Britain's Prince William married..say... the gay Catholic Andrew Sullivan, Prince William would be ineligible to take the crown, not because he married a man but because Sullivan was Catholic?

Feel free to discuss amongst yourselves.

How Many People Attended The March For Life?

Having looked at several sources, I've come up with quite a few different numbers of how many marchers peacefully employed their first amendment rights this past week in Washington on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade. So far the only consistent number I have that day when it comes to protesters is the one nutjob who smashed his SUV into a Minnesota Planned Parenthood, effectively giving the media an excuse to focus on an extremist exception and ignore the rule. So far, here are the numbers I've found:

LifeSite- "definitely over 200,000"
CNN- "thousands"
Associated Press"- "Tens of thousands"
New York Times- "Tens of thousands"
CBS- "Tens of thousands"
Catholic News Service- "Thousands"
Crosswalk- "Tens of thousands"

Anyone notice a pattern?

If any of our readership was there and has an estimate as to the attendance, I would greatly appreciate the eyewitness information. As someone who is sometimes entrusted with disseminating things of interest to pro-lifers, it would be nice to get a little clearer of a picture here...

Upon The Feast Of The Conversion Of St. Paul

In honor of the conversion of the greatest evangelist of the early Church, we offer you some of our favorite Pauline passages from the New Testament:

Romans 7:14-25

14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am carnal, sold into slavery to sin. 15 What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate.

16 Now if I do what I do not want, I concur that the law is good. 17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. 18 For I know that good does not dwell in me, that is, in my flesh. The willing is ready at hand, but doing the good is not. 19 For I do not do the good I want, but I do the evil I do not want. 20 Now if (I) do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.

21 So, then, I discover the principle that when I want to do right, evil is at hand. 22 For I take delight in the law of God, in my inner self, 23 but I see in my members another principle at war with the law of my mind, taking me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.

24 Miserable one that I am! Who will deliver me from this mortal body? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Therefore, I myself, with my mind, serve the law of God but, with my flesh, the law of sin.

I Corinthians 1:18-25

18 The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19 For it is written: "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the learning of the learned I will set aside."

20 Where is the wise one? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made the wisdom of the world foolish? 21 For since in the wisdom of God the world did not come to know God through wisdom, it was the will of God through the foolishness of the proclamation to save those who have faith.

22 For Jews demand signs and Greeks look for wisdom, 23 but we proclaim Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, 24 but to those who are called, Jews and Greeks alike, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.

Phillippians 3:4-14

If anyone else thinks he can be confident in flesh, all the more can I. 5 Circumcised on the eighth day, 6 of the race of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrew parentage, in observance of the law a Pharisee, 6 in zeal I persecuted the church, in righteousness based on the law I was blameless.

7 (But) whatever gains I had, these I have come to consider a loss 7 because of Christ. 8 More than that, I even consider everything as a loss because of the supreme good of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.

For his sake I have accepted the loss of all things and I consider them so much rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having any righteousness of my own based on the law but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God, depending on faith 10 to know him and the power of his resurrection and (the) sharing of his sufferings by being conformed to his death, 11 if somehow I may attain the resurrection from the dead.

12 It is not that I have already taken hold of it or have already attained perfect maturity, but I continue my pursuit in hope that I may possess it, since I have indeed been taken possession of by Christ (Jesus).

13 Brothers, I for my part do not consider myself to have taken possession. Just one thing: forgetting what lies behind but straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I continue my pursuit toward the goal, the prize of God's upward calling, in Christ Jesus.

Romans 12:9-21

9 Let love be sincere; hate what is evil, hold on to what is good; 10 love one another with mutual affection; anticipate one another in showing honor. 11 Do not grow slack in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the holy ones, exercise hospitality.

14 Bless those who persecute (you), bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Have the same regard for one another; do not be haughty but associate with the lowly; do not be wise in your own estimation. 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil; be concerned for what is noble in the sight of all.

18 If possible, on your part, live at peace with all. 19 Beloved, do not look for revenge but leave room for the wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." 20 Rather, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head."

21 Do not be conquered by evil but conquer evil with good.

Feel free to add your own favorite (or least favorite!) Pauline passages in the combox below.

St. Paul, ora pro nobis!

Upon The Feast Of St. Francis De Sales

No surprise that the patron saint of communicators is also the patron against deafness.

We here at Apoloblogology think that his patronage should also be invoked against Calvinism- it couldn't have been easy being a Catholic bishop in Geneva a generation after John Calvin's iron-rod rule. Adter all, it was St. Francis who said, "We are not drawn to God by iron chains, but by sweet attractions and holy inspirations."

Here's to the "Gentleman Saint" who (literally) left his heart in Venice...

Since Pretty Much Nobody Else Will Be Covering It...

We've got the March for Life wall-to-wall on sacredheartradio.com from 6am-9am today. You name 'em, they're on our show.

The Main Difference Between George W. Bush And Barack H. Obama

Preview Of A Mug Shot

Here's a side view of the subject of what will be the first presidential pardon of the Obama administration....

Rahm Emanuel. Like Dick Cheney, but without the connections.

Two Instances When The Media Is Not Allowed To Criticize The President Of The United States

1. Wartime.

2. Anytime after noon today.

Upon The Feast Of St. Sebastian

Took a licking. Kept on ticking.

Jack Chick Weighs In On The Gaza Conflict

Excerpted from the tract Somebody Angry?













And so forth.

For the full text of "Somebody Angry?", go to Chick.com.

In Honor Of Christian Unity Week, Day 1...

...We offer this perennial favorite from Stephen Colbert's "I Am America (And So Can You!)":

"So we get it, Protestants. You’ve had your 490-year ‘protest’ — let’s move on. Martin Luther was probably right to translate the Bible into German, and I’ll grant that he may have had a legitimate beef about selling indulgences. But let’s stop living in the past. Whenever you’re ready, the Church’s doors are always open. We’ll let you back into eternal salvation, and all you have to do is say a few Hail Marys, feel a little guilty, and deliver your massive army of lockstep values voters."

Another Interview I Am Not Likely To Schedule: Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day

I love my job:

SAVE THE DATE

Sealed Air Invites You to Help Celebrate the 9th Annual National Bubble Wrap® Appreciation Day on January 26, 2009

Mark Your Calendars for the National Day Honoring America’s Favorite Packaging Material

WHAT: Sealed Air Corporation, the creators and makers of Bubble Wrap® brand cushioning (www.bubblewrap.com), will celebrate the 9th Annual Bubble WrapÒ Appreciation Day on Monday, January 26th. For nearly 50 years, Bubble WrapÒ brand cushioning has been used and enjoyed by people of all ages all around the world.

To mark the big day, the company will announce the Grand Prize Winner of its third annual Bubble Wrap Competition for Young inventors – a national competition for students in grades five through eight.

A b-roll package containing Bubble Wrap footage and video of-

INTERVIEWS: The competition winner will be available the morning of January 26th, 2009. The package also will contain footage of Sealed Air’s Bubble Wrap manufacturing facility in Saddle Brook, New Jersey. Interviews and photography furnished upon request.

Exact satellite coordinates to come!

One of the highlights of my life as an Uncle is giving my nephews presents, and watching them ignore them in favor of playing with the packaging. I'm sure I'm not the only Uncle or Parent who can relate.

This Day In History

On January 7, 1935, French Foreign Minister Pierre Laval and Benito Mussolini signed the Franco-Italian agreement. Some years earlier, on an unspecified date, Spaghetti-O's signed the Franco-American agreement.

Upon The Feast Of St. Raymond Of Penyaforte

Patron saint of lawyers. A busy, busy man.

In Which I Apoloblogologize For My Absence (For The Thousandth Time)

This week was our syndicated launch on EWTN radio- 100+ stations, not to mention Sirius, XM, and Sky Angel. It's hard work being a mindless automaton for the evil pope! Those Jesuits are really keeping me busy with all this government infiltration stuff.

By the way, if you're reading this as a protestant, please leave your Social Security Number in the combox below. We're compiling a special list of you, because the Vatican wants to give you a big ol' present- no guessing! It's a surprise...