We Are Living In The Freaking Future

Meet Jules. Jules has a special application wherein if you look at him, he can mimic your expressions. If Jules were trying to kill me, and I began to scream in terror, and I saw my own terror reflected in his mechanical visage, I think I would lose all hope.

And he looks eerily like Kevin Spacey.

Happy Anniversary, Exploding Whale

Author's Note: We originally published this last year on this date. However, it's just so great that we'll probably publish it every year until the end of the digital age.

On November 12, 1970, the Oregon Highway Division set out to rid the beach near Florence of the 45 foot long rotting carcass of a sperm whale. Collaborating with the US Navy, ODOT crews stuffed the carcass with a half ton of dynamite, hoping to fragment it into pieces small enough to be cleaned from the beach by scavenging seaside beasts.

Upon the detonation of the explosive charges, one reporter was heard to remark that "the blast blasted blubber beyond all believable bounds." One hunk of whale was reported to have landed on a car, smashing it pretty good. A significant portion of sperm whale carcass remained on the beach, and had to be cheerfully hand-collected by ODOT employees.

In a related incident, a slightly annoyed bowl of petunias was reported also to have been exploded just up the beach.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, The Exploding Whale Incident.

Upon The Feast Of Pope St. Leo The Great

He sure knew how to make a Hun run.

R.I.P. Michael Crichton, 1942-2008

When reached for comment, Apoloblogology Correspondent Dr. Ian Malcolm kept repeating, "He left us! He left us!"

Thanks for all the memories of the future, and 500 seasons of E.R.

And here's a fun little prophecy he wrote about how the spiral-eyed mainstream media will soon shut down its kool-aid stand.

Remember, Remember, The Fifth Of November

Author's note: We posted this last year, but we are too overwhelmed with Other Stuff to write anything fresh right now. More later.

This day in history in 1605, Guy Fawkes and Robert Catesby, English Catholics, attempted to blow up Parliament under the torturous reign of James I. Captured before they could accomplish the task, they were executed quite publicly. To commemorate the event, every Guy Fawkes' day, English protestants often burn either Fawkes or the Pope in effigy.

As a playful counter to the above tradition, John Zmirak suggests the following practice in The Bad Catholic's Guide To Good Living:

"Why not get the baking enthusiasts in your family (i.e., the girls) to make a House of Parliament out of gingerbread? Find pictures of these exquisite Gothic buildings on the internet and make the best copy you can, lovingly adding details with the icing, perhaps evevn forming a tiny James I out of Marzipan. Unveil it at the outset of tonight's family dinner, or at a gathering of friends. As dinner unfolds, tell the story of Guy Fawkes and his friends. Then for dessert, take the gingerbread Parliament outside, stuff it with M-80 fireworks, and blow it all to hell."

An Election Reflection

From today's Psalm at Mass:

Dominion is the LORD’s,
and he rules the nations.

Thankfully, diety doesn't have term limits.

Dr. Ian Malcolm Speaks To Today's Electorate

"Oooh! Ahhh! That's how it always starts. Then later there's running, and screaming..."