R.I.P. Karl Malden, 1912-2009

The man behind my favorite movie portrayal of a priest ever.

RIP Michael Jackson, 1958-2009

I want to remember him like this and not like this.

Not dead, however: Apoloblogology Special Correspondent Dr. Ian Malcolm.

Dom DeLuise, 8/1/1933-5/4/2009

Perhaps one of the only reasons I actually suffered all the way through Cannonball Run 2.

Rest in Peace.

Good Day

Paul Harvey: 9/4/1918-2/28/09.

He's currently getting the rest of the story.

It Is A Holy And Wholesome Thought To Pray For The Dead

Send a few in the direction of Michael Dubruiel, who passed away yesterday in an entirely unexpected fashion. He and his wife, Amy Welborn (AKA Queen of the Catholic blogosphere) have made numerous contributions to the "New Evangelization" over the past several years. Our prayers go with all touched by this loss.

Conspiracy Theory Belly Laugh Of The Day

Got this little piece of awesomeness from David Hartline's blog. As someone who enthusiastically collects anti-Catholic propaganda, this has to be one of the awesomest accusations I have ever seen from Reformation.org (I'm printing the highlights below):

Russian Patriarch Alexy II—the Pope of the Russian Orthodox Church—died suddenly of poisoning on November 5, 2008...

Patriarch Alexy II was the Pope of the Greek church, and his position was equivalent to that of the Pope of the Latin church...

Memorial services for the poisoned Patriarch were held at Christ the Saviour Cathedral in Moscow on December 9, 2008...

Obviously Te Deum's (sic) are being sung and there is great rejoicing at the Vatican over the downfall of the leader of their millenarian enemy—the Russian Orthodox church...

Both the Black Pope (my note: the Superior General of the Jesuits) and White Pope (my note: B16) were ALARMED by the resurgence of the Russian Orthodox church after 70 years of communism...

Obviously there is not enough room in the world for 3 Popes!!

The Russian Pope also had a beard which made him look more like St. Peter than the other 2 Popes!!(emphasis mine)

President-elect Obama's mentor and guru is Polish born Zbigniew Brzezinski.

Brzezinski was the éminence grise behind the Papacy of Pope John Paul II and is an extreme Russophobe and hater of all things Russian.

An Obama Presidency will mean only one thing: WAR WITH RUSSIA!!

That's right, kids. If you look more like St. Peter than he does, Pope Benedict will KILL you.

This conspiracy theory involving the Catholic and Orthodox Churches may be my new favorite, toppling the one about how the Vatican invented Communism to take out the Russian Church.

By the way, let me point out that as a mindless automaton of the Pope, I am never offended by these things. They always seem to bring a little spark of hilarity to my day.

Avery Dulles, 8/24/18-12/12/18

I once had a professor who claimed that Dulles would spend half his Purgatory burning off the fact that he coined the phrase "Institutional Church." It is my solemn prayer that in such a time-immune place, that holy work is done by now.

Reqiescat in Pace.

R.I.P. Michael Crichton, 1942-2008

When reached for comment, Apoloblogology Correspondent Dr. Ian Malcolm kept repeating, "He left us! He left us!"

Thanks for all the memories of the future, and 500 seasons of E.R.

And here's a fun little prophecy he wrote about how the spiral-eyed mainstream media will soon shut down its kool-aid stand.

Paul Newman, 1925-2008

I seriously thought this guy was immortal.

The salad dressing industry will never be the same.

Favorite role (besides Butch Cassidy): Husky voice guy in The Hudsucker Proxy.

Bernie Mac, 1957-2008

You will be missed.

I tried to post something clean.

Aleksandr Solzhenitzyn, 1918-2008

"When truth is discovered by someone else, it loses something of its attractiveness.”

Bo Diddley, 1928-2008

Charlton Heston Crosses Over

To where, only the God of Moses knows. In the meantime, beloved reader Jimmy is left with a quandary as to whom to vote for in the next presidential election. Chuck, from all the staff and readership here at Apoloblogology, here's hoping you requiscat in pace.

Happy Birthday, Douglas Adams (Deceased)

Thanks to Fr. Rob Jack for the reminder on this. I hate to leave an event like this uncommemorated. As such, here are ten of my top seven hundred or so favorite Adams quotes:

1. "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."

2. "There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."

3. "He furrowed his brow until you could grow some of the smaller root vegetables in it."

4. "Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen."

5. "Los Angeles: like several thousand square miles of American Express junk mail, but without the same sense of moral depth."

6. "The history of the Galaxy has got a little muddled, for a number of reasons: partly because those who are trying to keep track of it have got a little muddled, but also because some very muddling things have been happening anyway."

7. "He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife."

8. "This man is the bee's knees, he is the wasp's nipples. He is, I would go so far as to say, the entire set of erogenous zones of every major flying insect of the Western world."

9. "Numbers written on restaurant bills within the confines of restaurants do not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other pieces of paper in any other parts of the Universe."

..and my personal all-time favorite, in regards to the Babel Fish:

10. "Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument goes something like this:

'I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, 'for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.'

'But,' says Man, 'the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves that you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. Q.E.D.'

'Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

'Oh, that was easy,' says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing."

Gone.

Not sure how to respond. I once called the place home.

The Enquirer article.

Jimmy's take.

Father Kyle's take.

Rich Leonardi's take.

Oh, and in case you're curious as to what I think may have been the cause behind the fire, feel free to refer to today's top story on msn.com.

Two Job Openings

Gordon Hinckley, head of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, has passed on to whatever state the afterlife holds for Mormons as of 7pm yesterday. He was 97. He was considered the architect of the LDS massive public relations turnaround of the late 1980's, where he used commercials of middle school band members with braces to help people realize that Mormons have dental problems and musical urges just like everyone else.



Archbishop Christodoulos, head of the Greek Orthodox Church, has died from complications due to liver cancer at the age of 69. He oversaw 15 million Greek Orthodox, 10 million of whom lived in Greece. He and John Paul II helped put Greek Orthodox/Roman Catholic relations on one of the better sets of feet that it's enjoyed since 1054. He wore awesome necklaces.