Bracketology 101: Magisterial Fidelity Edition

"Quit fooling around, Lord! Toss me the rock!"

In the spirit of President Dwight D. Eisenhower, who once described an atheist as someone "who watches a Notre Dame-SMU football game and doesn't care who wins," we here at the staff of Apoloblogology have decided to revisit the spirit of the Thirty Years' War and present to you "Bracketology 101: Magisterial Fidelity Edition."

This is a methodology of bracket selection that my wife has employed for years, and works especially well for those who want to take part in office pools but don't have much interest in things like winning. The criteria go as follows:

1. In games between religious schools and nonreligious schools, the religious school is picked.

2. In games between Christian schools and schools with other religious affiliations, the Christian school is picked.

3. In games between Catholic schools and protestant schools, the Catholic school is picked.

4. In games between Catholic schools, the one with the highest degree of fidelity to the Magisterium is picked.

The rules are simple, and produce interesting results. I've taken the liberty of walking you through some of the more epic battles likely to take place when this method of bracket selection is applied. I've also taken liberty with the rules stated above, as a nod to those Magisterially unfaithful Catholic universities who love it when liberty gets taken with rules:

Midwest Region, Round 2: Gonzaga vs. Georgetown

We personally find it very difficult to determine degrees of Magisterial fidelity between Jesuit schools. In the end, Fr Peter Phan's antics prove fatal to his Hoyas on the court. Gonzaga wins.

West Region, Round 2: Xavier vs. Baylor

Here's a tricky one. True, Xavier's a Catholic school, and as a rule, should win this one. On the other hand, Baylor has Francis Beckwith, Michael Foley, and Tom Breen, and to our knowledge doesn't employ anyone from the Jesus Seminar. Baylor pulls the upset.

West Region, Round 2: Drake vs. San Diego

The religiously supercharged West Region also features this early battle between the relatively recently founded Catholic University of San Diego and the Drake Bulldogs. While Drake was founded by the Disciples of Christ, they currently claim no religious affiliation. San Diego in a landslide.

South Region, Round 3: St Mary's (California) vs. Marquette

To be honest, we plain old don't know very much about Christian Brothers-founded St Mary's, but I'd take the Vegas odds that they're in better standing with the Church than Marquette. St Mary's of California to the Elite Eight!

West Region, Round 3: BYU vs. San Diego

Brigham who? San Diego rises, triumphant.

West Region, Round 3: Baylor vs. Duke

I'm aware that Baylor's traditionally Calvinist, and that Duke is traditionally from the Wesleyan-Arminian tradition. However, following a tradition that supercedes this method of bracketology, I refuse under any circumstances to pick Duke past the second round. Baylor, in another upset.

East Region, Round 3: Mount St Mary's vs. Notre Dame

While it seems somewhat untoward to pit Our Lady against her mountain, these are the sorts of things that happen in the world of intercampus athletics. Following rule #4 as stated above, we think it's obvious which school is producing more vocations to the priesthood. Mount St Mary's wins the day.

West Region, Round 4: Baylor vs. San Diego

In general, Baptist higher education is more (unknowingly) faithful to the Pope than Catholic higher education. San Diego being a relatively unknown quantity as far as this analyst is concerned, I'll cut them some slack against the Mormons, but not against the Calvinists. Baylor to the Final Four!

South Region, Round 4: Oral Roberts vs. St Mary's (California)

Is anyone else disappointed that Oral Roberts' mascot isn't a 900 foot tall Jesus? St. Mary's of California to the Final Four!

Midwest Region, Round 4: Gonzaga vs. Siena

I hear decent things about Gonzaga. I hear no things about Siena. Gonzaga to the Final Four!

East Region, Round 4: Mount St Mary's vs. St Joseph

Pitting the Holy Family against itself? Absurd! I'm fairly certain the real St. Joseph would defer. Mount St. Mary's to the Final Four!

Final Four Matchup: Baylor vs. St Mary's (California)

I've made enough exceptions for Baylor so far. Why not make another? Baylor in the National Championship!

Final Four Matchup: Mount St. Mary's vs Gonzaga

I've met many impressive people from Mount St. Mary's. On second thought, those good things I heard said about Gonzaga were hearsay. Mount St. Mary's in the National Championship!

Championship Game: Baylor vs. Mount St. Mary's

Enough exceptions, Baylor. Mount St Mary's, the #65 seed play-in candidate, is the Cinderella story of the millenium.