A Gift Idea For That Pneumatic Female In Your Brave New World

Gives a whole new meaning to the "(International) Noise Conspiracy's" song, Capitalism Stole my Virginity:

The (gift) certificates (to Planned Parenthood) come in $25 increments. They can be used for everything from birth control to $58 examinations that include breast exams and pap tests. Men who receive healthcare at Planned Parenthood can use them too.

"They can be seen for sexually transmitted disease screenings, HIV tests and general prostate exams and those kinds of things," said Struben-Hall.

Some Hoosiers 24-Hour News 8 talked to asked if the gift certificates could be used towards abortions. The answer is yes. But, Planned Parenthood said that's not the purpose of the gift certificates.

Struben-Hall said, "They really are intended for preventative healthcare. We decided not to put restrictions on the gift certificates so it's for whatever people feel they need the services for most."

Because, in the words of Margaret Sanger herself, "“The most merciful thing that a family does to one of its infant members is to kill it.”

And if you're trying to figure out which special person in your life that you don't want to be reproducing, Ms. Sanger offers this helpful suggestion:

"Negroes and Southern Europeans are mentally inferior to native born Americans."

Happy Black Friday, everyone!