Another Interview I Am Not Likely To Schedule: Dr. Harold Katz

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Don’t Eat That Garlic Bread, Hillary!

Tips to Keep Our New Top Diplomat Halitosis-Free

With Sen. Hillary Clinton poised to accept her new job as U.S. Secretary of State – effectively making her the nation’s top diplomat – it seems that her relationships with foreign leaders would be of paramount importance. But Dr. Harold Katz, Dentist to the Stars, is more worried about her turning off potential allies with bad breath.

“When people talk a lot for their job, it increases their exposure to the bacteria that causes bad breath,” Katz said. “Moreover, the Secretary of State visits foreign countries and eats the local fare, and much or the cuisine in the far east and in Europe are well-known for their halitosis-causing properties.”

Dr. Katz advises the former First Lady to do the following to avoid embarrassing breath-related faux-pas:

·No onions or garlic! That means no FRENCH onion soup or spicy KOREAN kimchee. Onions and garlic contain odorous sulfur compounds, similar to the Volatile Sulfur Compounds produced by anaerobic bacteria breeding beneath the surface of your tongue, throat and tonsils.

·Watch out for dairy foods! No SWISS cheese! Blintzes are OK, but NO Sour Cream. Dairy foods contain dense proteins that are used by the sulfur-producing bacteria to create odors such as Hydrogen sulfide (the rotten egg smell), Cadaverine, and Putrescine – no need to describe what those chemicals smell like.

·Cut down on your coffee. It doesn’t matter if it’s TURKISH coffee or ITALIAN roast coffee, COLOMBIAN or JAVA - Coffee stimulates the bad breath bacteria to produce more odors because coffee is very acidic. Do what the BRITS do, drink tea! Tea is actually good for your breath.

·Avoid the Booze – No Alcohol for you. That’s right, stay away from SCOTCH, IRISH coffee. Alcohol makes the mouth dry and that creates an environment that mimics 24 hour morning breath. Saliva is nature’s way of keeping your breath fresh (think baby’s breath). The less saliva you have, the worse your breath gets. By the way, Hill – There is MORE alcohol in the leading mouthwash formulas than an entire 6 pack of BECK’S, SAPPORO, TSINGTAO, etc. So, if you’re choosing between a medicine burning mouthwash or a bottle of MOLSON’S, go for the brewski – but sip some water immediately afterwards to dilute the effect of the alcohol.

·Stay away from sugar. Sugar feeds all types of bacteria, including the bad breath bugs, so if you want to chew some candy, avoid SWEDISH FISH and look for sugarless mints, such as ZOX (they contain ZINC, OXYGEN, and XYLITOL) to fight bad breath and dry mouth or sugarless gum like TheraBreath gum, which contains oxygenating compounds. Find them both at www.therabreath.com.

·If you’re HUNGRY (HUNGARY) it’s OK to have some carbs. Carbs won’t give you bad breath. So when in DENMARK, look for a DANISH. If you’re in CAMEROON, ask for a MACAROON.

·There are also a few proteins that are OK. If you’re looking for a SANDWICH (Sandwich Islands) order TURKEY, TOGO.

·Best advice: Look for oxygenating oral products, such as TheraBreath or PerioTherapy. They are all natural formulas that attack BOTH bacterial bad breath AND stinky food bad breath. Hillary can find them anywhere in the world by going to www.therabreath.com.

And, if Hillary comes across a prime minister or foreign diplomat with Halitosis – and she can’t find the strength to tell them about their bad breath, she doesn’t need to worry. Dr. Harold Katz will do it for her through his online “tell a friend” program. Just click on: http://www.therabreath.com/tellafriend.asp. Dr. Katz takes care of the rest – and the best part, It’s anonymous. Bill and Obama will never know that Hillary contacted Dr. Katz.

If you get an email from Dr. Katz telling you that you have bad breath, you didn't get it from me.