Not content to rule us merely in the temporal order, it appears that robots are now attempting to conquer the spiritual one as well. At informationageprayer.com, Protestants (as though they were a monolithic body), Catholics, Jews, Muslims, and those who describe themselves as "Unaffiliated" (I can only assume this refers to those who worship at the grocery magazine racks) can submit prayers to be voiced by synthesizers and played on loop. If you're like me, you have lots of questions about this. Fortunately, the FAQ section gives us some semblance of clarity as to how the whole thing works. Here are some excerpts:
-The omniscient God knows exactly who has subscribed and who each prayer is from when their name is displayed on screen and their prayer voiced.And so forth.
-We use state of the art text-to-speech synthesizers to voice each prayers at a volume and speed equivalent to typical person praying. Each prayer is voiced individually, with the name of the subscriber displayed on screen. If the prayer is for someone else, then that name is displayed on screen instead.
-Prices are determined by the length of the prayer. A discounted prayer will cost less than other prayers of similar length.
Right now, in keeping with the times, the Prayer for Economic Stability is neatly discounted- for only $3.95, you can get a month's worth of robot intercession. But be sure to heed the caveat attached to the prayer, which warns that the subscription is "not an alternative to fiscal responsibility!" If that's outside your means, they're running a special on Hail Mary's at $.07 apiece.
Unfortunately, there's no information on whether or not there's an extra charge if you want to add the phrase "Father God" after every fifth word.
