Everything's Bigger In...

On March 30, 1867, United States Secretary of State William H. Seward purchased Alaska for $7.2 million, which comes out to about $.02 an acre. What would $7.2 million buy in today's economy, you might ask? Here's a brief run-down:

-A donation from tbe Bill and Melinda Gates foundation to Seattle's public school system

-A Morgan Stanley bank error that wrongly hosed customers of the Xerox corporation

-The retirement stipend to the former head of Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Vermont

-How much stimulus money the VA Center in Syracuse is getting from the federal government

-How much in campaign contributions President Obama had received by "Super Tuesday"

-The 1999 salary that the Anaheim Angels paid to Mo Vaughn

...To name a few.

And to quote an Alaskan I met in my brief sojourn there just over a decade ago, if you were to cut it in half, Texas would be the third biggest state.

Babylon Kneels Before Her Digital Master

Not content to rule us merely in the temporal order, it appears that robots are now attempting to conquer the spiritual one as well. At informationageprayer.com, Protestants (as though they were a monolithic body), Catholics, Jews, Muslims, and those who describe themselves as "Unaffiliated" (I can only assume this refers to those who worship at the grocery magazine racks) can submit prayers to be voiced by synthesizers and played on loop. If you're like me, you have lots of questions about this. Fortunately, the FAQ section gives us some semblance of clarity as to how the whole thing works. Here are some excerpts:

-The omniscient God knows exactly who has subscribed and who each prayer is from when their name is displayed on screen and their prayer voiced.

-We use state of the art text-to-speech synthesizers to voice each prayers at a volume and speed equivalent to typical person praying. Each prayer is voiced individually, with the name of the subscriber displayed on screen. If the prayer is for someone else, then that name is displayed on screen instead.

-Prices are determined by the length of the prayer. A discounted prayer will cost less than other prayers of similar length.

And so forth.

Right now, in keeping with the times, the Prayer for Economic Stability is neatly discounted- for only $3.95, you can get a month's worth of robot intercession. But be sure to heed the caveat attached to the prayer, which warns that the subscription is "not an alternative to fiscal responsibility!" If that's outside your means, they're running a special on Hail Mary's at $.07 apiece.

Unfortunately, there's no information on whether or not there's an extra charge if you want to add the phrase "Father God" after every fifth word.

Coming Soon To An Administration Near You

Don't waste your breath seeking which former or current administration to blame. They each have (had) their own favorite rich folk to cater to, at the expense of pretty much everyone else. The situation is (will be?) the same soon enough.

This is why I raise chickens.

Mainstream Media Offering Comprehensive Coverage Of The Pope's Visit To Africa

And when I say "comprehensive," I mean they're sticking their fingers in their ears and saying "LA LA LA CONDOMS LA LA LA!"

Enlightening The New York Times, Et. Al.

Rich Leonardi passes along some sanity from Joanna Bogle:

"Let's take the figures. The Phillipines and Thailand both reported their first cases of HIV in 1984. Thailand enacted a widespread condom-distribution programme. The Filipino government took a different approach - the Church had a considerable influence in what is a heavily Catholic country. Figures for 2005: Thailand's cases of AIDS 580,000; The population of the Phillipines , with a population of 84 million, just 12,000, or 0.03 per cent.

Evidence from Africa is interesting, too. Uganda, which was the first country to implement a non-condom approach, had a very low percentage of AIDS infection (4 per cent of the population). Swaziland - where there was a big condom-campaign: 42.6 per cent of the population."

Hey white people! Drop a pallette of condoms on Africa, and you won't have to actually address the AIDS crisis with critical thought!

I'm sure the warring rapist tribes of this violence torn continent will eliminate this viral expansion, as long as they use the "prophylactic tactic" before violating villagers.

Seriously- why hasn't the world come to understand that prevention (ACTUAL PREVENTION) is the best cure, instead of of putting a Scooby-Doo band-aid on the passionate erections of conscience-free sexual predators in Africa? What would happen if we flagged them there like they flagged them here?

A paradigmatic shift is the only way to solve the AIDS problem in Africa, not a latex endorsment of the current way of life.

Upon The Solemnity Of St. Joseph

Terror of Demons, ora pro nobis!

Jesus And Gandalf...

Are collaborating.

Both have long hair and awesome beards. Both have connections to supernatural power. But one hates Christians, and the other, well, you know.

Keeping an eye on this one...