Prominent Australians Have Obviously Been Watching Terminator

The Australian has awakened to the implications of making robots completely autonomous and then giving them lots of guns. Professor Noel Sharkey of the University of Sheffield raised the red flag recently, and gets the official Apoloblogology "Wait Up, My Scientific Friends, Let's Stop And Think About This For A Second" award for discussing the implications that these technologies could have on both the War on Terror and the War on Skynet:

Captured robots would not be difficult to reverse engineer, and could easily replace suicide bombers as the weapon of choice.

"I don't know why that has not happened already,'' he said.

But even more worrisome, he said, was the subtle progression from the semi-autonomous military robots deployed today to fully independent killing machines.

"I have worked in artificial intelligence for decades, and the idea of a robot making decisions about human termination terrifies me,'' Prof Sharkey said.

My guess is that before a fellow like Professor Sharkey can start programming Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics into these things, he will have already been killed by some robot made by a less ethical and more money driven scientist than himself. Professor Sharkey, consider yourself welcome in my bunker when the Cylons come.

C.S. Lewis Appears On "Lost"

Alongside Locke, Rousseau, Hume, Austen, Dawson, Faraday, etc...

Sorry about the lateness of my pickup on this... Thanks to Narniafans.com for opening mine eyes.

There are now a series of theories about Lost paying homage to the works of C.S. Lewis, especially since the second episode of season 4, when it was revealed that anthropologist and island newcomer Charlotte's full name was "Charlotte Staples Lewis." The only other "Staples Lewis" we all know has the first name of "Clive."

Further, when Hugo turned over Sayid and Kate to Locke a couple of weeks ago, the writers admitted that the sequence was structured to pay homage to The Empire Strikes Back, with Hugo as the unenviable parallel to Lando Calrissian. Obviously the writers of Lost have an appreciation for the classics. But I digress.

Here are a few of the Lewis-inspired elements that people have suggested are present in Lost:

1. The island setting, "Adam and Eve" references, whispering voices, and good versus evil dialogues conjure images of Perelandra, the second book in Lewis' Space Trilogy.

2. Narnia has been described as a place that you can only get to if Narnia "wants you to come." The Island has been described using the same language on a number of occasions.

3. Time in Narnia is different than time in other places. Daniel Faraday's rocket arrives with a clock that has obviously gone through some type of 31-minute time warp, indicating that time on the island also works different than time in other places.

4. Numerous parallels to The Great Divorce abound, including the fact that the survivors are visited by their past and afforded opportunities to change, some never want to leave the island, and that whole "purgatory" thing.

5. Children seem to have a special importance on the island, as they also do in the Narnia books.

6. In The Last Battle the friends of Narnia die in a train crash, but are simlultaneously found in Narnia. This season, the survivors learn that the wreckage of Oceanic 815 has been found, and that all passengers have been confirmed dead.

7. Ben Linus masquerades as the balloonist, Henry Gale. Jadis, the White Witch, masquerades as queen of Narnia. Both characters have been in these alternate worlds long before their guests. Both characters invoked some tragedy to kill all of the island's previous inhabitants. Both have a paranormal connection with their respective environments, and yet both seem to be in some way in confict with their setting, which happens to be personified in both cases.

I'm sure there are many more which I merely have yet to determine. Suffice to say, there is certainly a measure of Lewis' influence, especially as Lost continues. We intend to keep you all posted as we discover new parallels. Feel free to contribute your own discoveries.

Upon The Feast Of St. Robert Southwell

Made the Sign of the Cross repeatedly while hanging by the neck until dead.

I know it's slightly out of season, but his poem, "The Nativity of Christ" is still good:

Behold the father is his daughter's son,
The bird that built the nest is hatch'd therein,
The old of years an hour hath not outrun,
Eternal life to live doth now begin,
The word is dumb, the mirth of heaven doth weep,
Might feeble is, and force doth faintly creep.

O dying souls! behold your living spring!
O dazzled eyes! behold your sun of grace!
Dull ears attend what word this word doth bring!
Up, heavy hearts, with joy your joy embrace!
From death, from dark, from deafness, from despairs,
This life, this light, this word, this joy repairs.

Gift better than Himself God doth not know,
Gift better than his God no man can see;
This gift doth here the giver given bestow,
Gift to this gift let each receiver be:
God is my gift, Himself He freely gave me,
God's gift am I, and none but God shall have me.

Man alter'd was by sin from man to beast;
Beast's food is hay, hay is all mortal flesh;
Now God is flesh, and lies in manger press'd,
As hay the brutest sinner to refresh:
Oh happy field wherein this fodder grew,
Whose taste doth us from beasts to men renew!

Top 25 Rankings Are Now Out

The Christian Post has released the latest statistics on the numbers of adherents to various Christian groups, ranking them in order of attendance. The stats are as follows:

1. The Catholic Church – 67,515,016
2. Southern Baptist Convention – 16,306,246
3. The United Methodist Church – 7,995,456
4. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints – 5,779,316
5. The Church of God in Christ – 5,499,875
6. National Baptist Convention, U.S.A., Inc. – 5,000,000
7. Evangelical Lutheran Church in America – 4,774,203
8. National Baptist Convention of America, Inc. – 3,500,000
9. Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.) – 3,025,740
10. Assemblies of God – 2,836,174
11. African Methodist Episcopal Church – 2,500,000
12. National Missionary Baptist Convention of America – 2,500,000
13. Progressive National Baptist Convention, Inc. – 2,500,000
14. The Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod (LCMS) – 2,417,997
15. Episcopal Church – 2,154,572
16. Churches of Christ – 1,639,495
17. Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America – 1,500,000
18. Pentecostal Assemblies of the World, Inc. – 1,500,000
19. The African Methodist Episcopal Zion Church – 1,443,405
20. American Baptist Churches in the U.S.A. – 1,371,278
21. United Church of Christ – 1,218,541
22. Baptist Bible Fellowship International – 1,200,000
23. Christian Churches and Churches of Christ – 1,071,616
24. The Orthodox Church in America – 1,064,000
25. Jehovah’s Witnesses – 1,069,530

Those J-dubs barely made the list at #25. I'd be interested to see who number 26 is, seeing as how Jehovah's Witnesses are only slightly more complimentary of Jesus than Muslims are. Also, this blogger is a little shocked that Progressive Baptists outnumber American Baptists, and that the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A) ranked pretty high, but the Presbyterian Church in America didn't even make the list. I remain fascinated by The Wonder That Is American Religion.

Carl Olson, I tip my hat to you.

Re-Education

China, our bestest ever trade buddy, has sentenced 21 protestant "house church" leaders to labor camps for an Orwellian "re-education" that will last 15 months to three years, depending on how long it takes to break the ministers.

Is anybody listening yet?

"We Don't Want The Olympics, We Want Human Rights!"

Too bad, pal. Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect housing reimbursement.

"I Didn't Kill My Wife!"

Attack of the Show has some rather hysterical outtakes from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Flip of the fedora to theraider.net.

Barack Obama And Benny Hinn?

Hinn once referred to himself as "a little messiah walking the earth." Obama has been lavished with messianic support from various media representatives. Both of their real first names end in a "k"(Benny's real name is "Toufik"). These two parallels would seem unconvincing and unconnected, save for a third and most shocking phenomenon that has come to be associated with both men: Bodies Hitting The Floor:

And, to make the connection clear, from the A Face Like The Face Of Robert Tilton Without The Horns files, here's Sith Lord Hinn himself, doing what one pundit has accurately described as "using his God-given powers of the Force to beat the crap out of the faithful."

Upon The Feast Of St. Bernadette of Lourdes

"You must receive God well; give Him a loving welcome, for then He has to pay us rent."

*Update: we've recently become informed that today is only observed as her feast day in France. Our mistake, Jacobin, our mistake.

Upon The Feast Of St. Onesimus

St. Paul's "prison kid."

The Wait Is Finally Over

After long years of waiting impatiently, those of us who have been wandering in the desert of sequel deprivation can finally enjoy the promised land that is the trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. From what I can tell it will involve Russians, Roswell, and restless natives. I'm getting my tent and fedora ready for the big opening.

View the trailer here.

Battle Royal Brewing

In one of the better potential Russo-American faceoffs since Ivan Drago took on Rocky Balboa, Vladimir Putin has escalated the smack talk ahead of what I can only hope will be an international dispute that gets settled in a squared circle somewhere, mano y mana. Said Putin of the possibility of Hillary's presidency:

"At a minimum, a head of state should have a head."

In other news, potential future (oh please God no) president Clinton stopped at the Skyline Chili on Madison Avenue here in Cincinnati at about 9:00 this morning. From what I gather, this was her only stop in the Queen City. What am I to make of this?

Upon The Feast Of St. Valentine

This post was originally published on the Feast of St Valentine in 2007.

In one of the more bizarre cultural developments in Western civilization, a certain Valentine (that's FATHER Valentine to you) watched from heaven as we creatures here below eradicated his memory, calling little pieces of glossy paper with Scooby Doo on them "Valentine" instead. It's an extraordinarily odd phenomenon, especially since we don't call those green plastic bowlers people wear in Chicago "Patrick," or those decorated trees we prop up in our living room "Jesus."

Ah, Valentine, bishop of love. How often young starry-eyed couples forget they can also seek your patronage should plague, epilepsy, or fainting trouble their happy relationship, or if they decide to open a beekeeping business together.

St. Valentine, pray for us.

List Of Awesome: Stephen Colbert="I Teach Sunday School, Motherf@!*er"!

I'm aware that basically every Catholic blog in the universe has already posted the following clip, but I care little for that. I have opted to re-post it here, because of the liberal coat of aerosol Thomistic whoop-ass which Colbert showers upon his guest at the end of the interview. Watch, and cackle in catechistic glee.

'Atta Boy, Steve

Even though it took a little pressure from Mia Farrow, it appears that Steven Spielberg has decided to sever his ties with the Chinese organizers of the 2008 Olympics, with whom he was previously signed up to serve as an artistic advisor for the games. Oddly enough, the pressure he was recieving wasn't based on the 1.5 million Chinese displaced to make room for Olympic structures; it was actually based on the fact that China buys the majority of the Sudan's oil, partially in exchange for supplying the Sudanese government with weapons to continue their genocide. Oddly enough, most of the "Save Darfur" shirts probably also come from China.

Tip of the hat to the ever-vigilant vigilantes of Creative Minority Report.

Apoloblogology: your official source for news about all famous people named Steve.

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull

The Olympic Spirit

How does a packed city like Beijing prepare to accommodate the rest of the (by contrast) free world for the upcoming Olympiad?

By forcibly driving 1.5 million citizens from their homes and imprisoning or beating to death those who request compensation or transitional housing.

Some may accuse me of having a "thing" against China. I accuse China of having a "thing" against human rights.

Advent '08?

I've been meaning to post more on the Democratic candidates ahead of the 2008 presidential election, but to be honest, the Democratic race is just plain old not very entertaining to me. I'm one of those folks who considers making fun of Hillary Clinton about as low culture of an activity as listening to Nickelback, raving about "Wicked," or making fun of George W. Bush. Intelligence is not a pre-requisite to participation.

However, through the way-preparing of Jeff Miller, I have stumbled across something that has finally, for me, made Barack Obama an entertaining figure that has drawn my eye, at least momentarily, away from the Republican vaudeville act; an ingenious little blog titled "Is Barack Obama the Messiah?"

Note: this is not a parody site. The blog consists of nothing more than actual posters, interviews, and articles written about Barack Obama that have used Messianic imagery or language. It's stunning. What's most stunning is that people use said Messianic language in an unscripted and unprodded manner. Read for yourself, and emit your own set of tears of laughter or tears of despair:

obamamessiah.blogspot.com

The Ents Are Going To Blog

Frequent commenter and modern day Middle Earth expatriate Treebeard has made his latest mark on the digital community with an online version of the entmoot:

ohsofabled.blogspot.com

Visit at your discretion.

Upon The Feast Of St. Scholastica

This is one sister who knew how to make it rain.

Monk Error In Your Favor

The boys of Creative Minority Report have the perfect solution for a course of discipline to be carried out against the staff of L'Osservatore Romano, who recently admitted they had overstated the 2005-2006 decline in religious order membership by 1311%. Read it liesurely while you boil the wet noodles, which should be prepared al dente, in honor of St. Apollonia.

Upon The Feast Of St. Apollonia

Believe it or not, outside of the apostles, Thomas Aquinas, and St. Francis, Apollonia was one of the first saints I ever came to know anything about. A few years back, I was continuing to nurse a budding fascination with Roman Catholicism when one February morning, I decided to see if I was missing any good Catholic commemorations. Being about four years ago today, I was directed by Butler's Lives of the Saints to none other than Apollonia, Virgin and Martyr.

It was Apollonia through whom I learned that whenever something terrible happens to you on your path to sainthood, you become the patron saint of others suffering from that terrible thing. It was a method of patronal selection that puzzled me at first; why would Apollonia, whose teeth were crushed with pincers when she refused to renounce her faith, be the patron saint of dentists and those visiting them? After some thought, I came to understand that the wisdom of the Church was twofold in this matter: firstly, that however bad one's toothache happened to be, one could take solace in the fact that it wasn't near as bad as Apollonia's, and second, if anyone knew how to plead before the throne of God for relief in dental ailments, it would be St. Apollonia.

And so my odd, albeit mild devotion to this third century saint, who leapt toothless into the fire, as if tell her pagan persecutors to quit fooling around and get on with things, began. I've asked her intercession a half a dozen times or so, usually on behalf of others. Right before my wife had a root canal a couple of years ago, I picked up a nickel- sized St. Apollonia medal for her to wear around her neck as she prepared to experience kinder instruments and kinder circumstances than the young woman depicted on the medal. As you might imagine, everything worked out just fine.

St. Apollonia, ora pro nobis!

A Face Like The Face Of Robert Tilton Without The Horns, Part IX

Indiana Jones IV Trailer On Valentine's Day

And you can bet we'll post it immediately. In the meantime, here's a link to all the pertinent information.

R.I.P. Mitt Romney, 2/13/07-2/07/08

A GENTLE MAN AND A GENTLEMAN

Upon The Memorial Of Blessed Pius IX

Mr. Dogma himself. You would be too, if they took your Papal States.

Second longest serving bishop of Rome of all time, after St. Peter the Apostle.

Mitt Romney, Robot?

Speculations have flown recently as to whether or not Mitt Romney is a robot, or at the very least, a cylon. Skeptics find his unmoveable hair(piece) a bit too unmoveable, and his general appearance generally a bit too polished, even for a Mormon. We here at Apoloblogology think that his graying sidewalls were perhaps designed to conjure in the minds of the electorate images of Mister Fantastic himself, Reed Richards.

Added to my own severe speculation is a bit of milder speculation, which I'm going to go ahead and claim as an endorsement of my theories about the makeup of Mitt Rombot.

Upon Ash Wednesday

Cross my head and learn to die.

Upon The Feast Of St. Agatha, Virgin And Martyr

Credit the Church for making a woman who had her breasts cut off the patron saint of breast cancer patients. Saint Agatha, pray for us!

Having Been Memed...

The ever-pithy Will Cubbedge has memed me with a mighty meme. The rules, should I choose to obey them, are as follows:

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

While this feels a little like a chain letter, and makes me want to mock it and all those who participate in it, it also feels like a chain letter in the sense that I secretly want to read it and participate in it as soon as all the people I was mocking it in front of go away. That being said, being at work at the precise moment of my meming, the closest text to me was a review copy of Dr. Kevin Vost's Memorize the Faith, which offers the following mnemonic device advice:

The pronunciation of charity, for example, made me think of "chair with tea," as we saw with chapter 5 on the seven virtues. Now it occurs to me that "cherry tea," or perhaps, for a golfer, a "cherry tee," would be other possibilities. Does charity call to your mind any other concrete images?

As a matter of fact, Dr. Vost, it does. I'm reminded that the latin word for charity is caritas, which also just happens to be the name of the bar owned by Krevlornswath (A.K.A. "Lorne") of the Deathwok Clan in the Angel TV series. So if you're wondering, the concrete image in my mind when the word "charity" comes up is a green effeminate demon in a lounge suit that reads your thoughts while you sing karaoke.

I hereby meme: Jimmy, Dustin, Fr. Kyle, Fr. Rob, and the crazies at Colbertcatholic.com.

Upon The Feast Of St. Blaise

Protect ya neck.

Gone.

Not sure how to respond. I once called the place home.

The Enquirer article.

Jimmy's take.

Father Kyle's take.

Rich Leonardi's take.

Oh, and in case you're curious as to what I think may have been the cause behind the fire, feel free to refer to today's top story on msn.com.

Upon The Feast Of The Presentation Of Mary And Of The Presentation Of Christ In The Temple

Dr. Michael Foley of Baylor University clears up the confusion:

Groundhog Day is the day when the groundhog wakes up and sees his shadow, or doesn't see his shadow, and if he sees his shadow, he has more winter, and if he doesn't see his shadow, he has an early Spring. What most people don't realise is that this custom actually comes from Candlemas, which is the Feast of the Presentation of Our Lady, the Purification of Our Lady in the Temple, 40 days after she gave birth to Jesus, she presented Jesus in the Temple, and in former days, this was a very big festival, and there was a folk custom that the weather on this day had a particularly prognostic value. If you could see your shadow on this day, it signified more winter.

This had to do with the theme of light on the Feast of Candlemas, and it was the Germans who amended this folklore for badgers. If a badger could see his shadow, then there would be more winter. But when the German immigrants came to the United States they couldn't find any badgers; instead they found an animal that they'd never seen before, called the Groundhog, and that's where we get the custom.

And speaking of Bill Murray, if you get the chance when she's ever around, you should check out Bill Murray's sister, a Dominican who does one-person plays based on the life of Catherine of Siena.

McCain Does Streisand

Pure genius. Tip of the hat to Mark Shea.