Wednesday, March 4, 2009

They Came And They Took Without Giving



In a move likely inspired by the First Earth Battalion, a mall in Christchurch, New Zealand has decided that if Hannah Montana is successful in drawing unruly youth to their premises, perhaps "Copacabana" may be successful in driving them away. In order to stem the problem of loitering teens, mall officials have decided that playing the songs of Barry Manilow (or, as my father-in-law refers to him, "Barely Manenough") overhead in their common areas could be useful in either pacifying the miscreants, or perhaps driving them away:
"The intention is to change the environment in a positive way ... so nobody feels threatened or intimidated," Central City Business Association manager Paul Lonsdale told The Associated Press. "I did not say Barry Manilow is a weapon of mass destruction."

A group of several dozen young people regularly spread rubbish, spray graffiti, get intoxicated, use drugs, swear and intimidate patrons at the outdoor mall, he said.

The city council, police and local property owners covering 410 businesses agree that "nice, easy listening" music like Manilow's "Can't Smile Without You,""Mandy" and other hits might change the behavior of loitering teens.
Hot Topic, prepare to watch your sales plummet. Fluff of the fro to Red Cardigan.

And while we're on the subject, here's one of my all-time favorite renditions of a Manilow classic:

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