Bracketology 2009: Magisterial Fidelity Edition

In the spirit of President Dwight D. Eisenhower, who once described an atheist as someone "who watches a Notre Dame-SMU football game and doesn't care who wins," we here at the staff of Apoloblogology have decided to revisit the spirit of the Thirty Years' War and present to you "Bracketology 101: Magisterial Fidelity Edition."

This is a methodology of bracket selection I've employed for years, and works especially well for those who want to take part in office pools but don't have much interest in things like winning. The criteria go as follows:

1. In games between religious schools and nonreligious schools, the religious school is picked.

2. In games between Christian schools and schools with other religious affiliations, the Christian school is picked.

3. In games between Catholic schools and protestant schools, the Catholic school is picked.

4. In games between Catholic schools, the one with the highest degree of fidelity to the Magisterium is picked.

The rules are simple, and produce interesting results. I've taken the liberty of walking you through some of the more epic battles likely to take place when this method of bracket selection is applied. I've also taken liberty with the rules stated above, as a nod to those Magisterially unfaithful Catholic universities who love it when liberty gets taken with rules:

Midwest Round 2: Utah vs Wake Forest

One might think that the University of Utah is a state institution, but research reveals that it was actually founded by no less than Brigham Young himself, the Latter Day Saint of Latter Day Saints. Not only that, but its former name was the University of Deseret. And what, pray tell is Deseret? Well, it just happens to be the word for "honeybee" in the Jaredite language (hence, "The Beehive State"). For those of you who don't follow Mormon lore, the Jaredites were a tribe of people who sailed to the Americas during the construction of the Tower of Babel. I say the Baptists at Wake Forest will handily win this one.

West Round 4: BYU vs Marquette

Here's a fun quote from our pal Brigham Young:

"Now if any of you will deny the plurality of wives, and continue to do so, I promise that you will be damned."

Jesuit run-Marquette, all the way.

East Round 3: Villanova vs Duke

Duke's Divinity school has an impressive roster, with the likes of Stanley Hauerwas and Amy Hall, and I liked Grant Wacker's book on Pentecostalism. I feel my Methodist tendencies rising. This one goes into double overtime, before the Wildcats win on a buzzer beater.

Midwest Round 3: Wake Forest vs Siena

I really enjoyed Wake Forest president Nathan Hatch's The Democratization of American Christianity; it's a must-read for anyone who wants some historical insight into why we are the way we are. However, St. Catherine of Siena, as it's been depicted in art, has been assaulted by evil spirits before and risen victorious, my guess is that her battle with the Demon Deacons will be similarly successful.

South Round 4: Syracuse vs Gonzaga

I have family connections to Syracuse; my in-laws met there. However, with St. Patrick's day coming this week, it would be an act of betrayal to support the cause of Orangeism, especially as it has manifested itself in Ireland. Gonzaga wins, but the families of the two teams dispute it for the next several centuries.

East Round 4: Xavier vs. Villanova

Scanning the faculty and course descriptions of Villanova's theology department, they appear to be, in the words of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, "Mostly Harmless." They may be the devil I don't know. But the devil I do know is Xavier University, which is peppered with staff who think that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were the ancestors of the Marovingian kings, and that his body was eaten by wild dogs. Go 'Nova.

Midwest Round 3: Dayton vs Boston College

This is a tough one; Dayton has the Marian Library, which is pretty amazing. Boston College has Peter Kreeft, who might himself be considered a walking library. Plus, BC just put crucifixes back in the classrooms, which I applaud. Dayton could certainly take a hint or two when it comes to Catholic identity. However, because I have paid partial money toward an eventual degree at Dayton, I'll go with my potential future alma mater. Flyers in a squeaker.

Feel free to leave your own criteria for your bracket selection methodology in the combox below...