Everything's Bigger In...

On March 30, 1867, United States Secretary of State William H. Seward purchased Alaska for $7.2 million, which comes out to about $.02 an acre. What would $7.2 million buy in today's economy, you might ask? Here's a brief run-down:

-A donation from tbe Bill and Melinda Gates foundation to Seattle's public school system

-A Morgan Stanley bank error that wrongly hosed customers of the Xerox corporation

-The retirement stipend to the former head of Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Vermont

-How much stimulus money the VA Center in Syracuse is getting from the federal government

-How much in campaign contributions President Obama had received by "Super Tuesday"

-The 1999 salary that the Anaheim Angels paid to Mo Vaughn

...To name a few.

And to quote an Alaskan I met in my brief sojourn there just over a decade ago, if you were to cut it in half, Texas would be the third biggest state.

Babylon Kneels Before Her Digital Master

Not content to rule us merely in the temporal order, it appears that robots are now attempting to conquer the spiritual one as well. At informationageprayer.com, Protestants (as though they were a monolithic body), Catholics, Jews, Muslims, and those who describe themselves as "Unaffiliated" (I can only assume this refers to those who worship at the grocery magazine racks) can submit prayers to be voiced by synthesizers and played on loop. If you're like me, you have lots of questions about this. Fortunately, the FAQ section gives us some semblance of clarity as to how the whole thing works. Here are some excerpts:

-The omniscient God knows exactly who has subscribed and who each prayer is from when their name is displayed on screen and their prayer voiced.

-We use state of the art text-to-speech synthesizers to voice each prayers at a volume and speed equivalent to typical person praying. Each prayer is voiced individually, with the name of the subscriber displayed on screen. If the prayer is for someone else, then that name is displayed on screen instead.

-Prices are determined by the length of the prayer. A discounted prayer will cost less than other prayers of similar length.

And so forth.

Right now, in keeping with the times, the Prayer for Economic Stability is neatly discounted- for only $3.95, you can get a month's worth of robot intercession. But be sure to heed the caveat attached to the prayer, which warns that the subscription is "not an alternative to fiscal responsibility!" If that's outside your means, they're running a special on Hail Mary's at $.07 apiece.

Unfortunately, there's no information on whether or not there's an extra charge if you want to add the phrase "Father God" after every fifth word.

Coming Soon To An Administration Near You

Don't waste your breath seeking which former or current administration to blame. They each have (had) their own favorite rich folk to cater to, at the expense of pretty much everyone else. The situation is (will be?) the same soon enough.

This is why I raise chickens.

Mainstream Media Offering Comprehensive Coverage Of The Pope's Visit To Africa

And when I say "comprehensive," I mean they're sticking their fingers in their ears and saying "LA LA LA CONDOMS LA LA LA!"

Enlightening The New York Times, Et. Al.

Rich Leonardi passes along some sanity from Joanna Bogle:

"Let's take the figures. The Phillipines and Thailand both reported their first cases of HIV in 1984. Thailand enacted a widespread condom-distribution programme. The Filipino government took a different approach - the Church had a considerable influence in what is a heavily Catholic country. Figures for 2005: Thailand's cases of AIDS 580,000; The population of the Phillipines , with a population of 84 million, just 12,000, or 0.03 per cent.

Evidence from Africa is interesting, too. Uganda, which was the first country to implement a non-condom approach, had a very low percentage of AIDS infection (4 per cent of the population). Swaziland - where there was a big condom-campaign: 42.6 per cent of the population."

Hey white people! Drop a pallette of condoms on Africa, and you won't have to actually address the AIDS crisis with critical thought!

I'm sure the warring rapist tribes of this violence torn continent will eliminate this viral expansion, as long as they use the "prophylactic tactic" before violating villagers.

Seriously- why hasn't the world come to understand that prevention (ACTUAL PREVENTION) is the best cure, instead of of putting a Scooby-Doo band-aid on the passionate erections of conscience-free sexual predators in Africa? What would happen if we flagged them there like they flagged them here?

A paradigmatic shift is the only way to solve the AIDS problem in Africa, not a latex endorsment of the current way of life.

Upon The Solemnity Of St. Joseph

Terror of Demons, ora pro nobis!

Jesus And Gandalf...

Are collaborating.

Both have long hair and awesome beards. Both have connections to supernatural power. But one hates Christians, and the other, well, you know.

Keeping an eye on this one...

A Statement About Society

Hike o' the hairpiece to Pat Madrid; this commentary reflects my own views about the state of our culture.

I Watch This Every St. Patrick's Day

Upon The Feast Of St. Patrick

Certain secular practices associated with sacred feasts baffle me, but no day on the liturgical calendar causes me more bewilderment than the one honoring St. Patrick, the "Apostle of Ireland."

Today, everyone is Irish. That, I suppose, wouldn't be that odd, except for the fact that on the patronal feast days of other countries, I don't see similar occasions of everyone pretending to be from there. On the Feast of St. George, patron of Canada, I don't see everyone drinking Tim Horton's coffee and chasing it with Molson. I don't play extra games of Katamari Damacy on December 3, the feast of St. Francis Xavier, patron of Japan. And I don't listen to Bjork on the feast of Thorlac Thorhallson, patron of Iceland (come to think of it, I don't really listen to her on other days either).

So today, while you're mimicking a drunken leprechaun and coloring rivers green, pinching all the party poopers and faking your brogue, just be sure not to neglect similar nationalistic expressions on other feast days. I don't want to see any of you messing with Sicilians when death is on the line on the Feast of St. Nicholas, December 6.

Bracketology 2009: Magisterial Fidelity Edition

In the spirit of President Dwight D. Eisenhower, who once described an atheist as someone "who watches a Notre Dame-SMU football game and doesn't care who wins," we here at the staff of Apoloblogology have decided to revisit the spirit of the Thirty Years' War and present to you "Bracketology 101: Magisterial Fidelity Edition."

This is a methodology of bracket selection I've employed for years, and works especially well for those who want to take part in office pools but don't have much interest in things like winning. The criteria go as follows:

1. In games between religious schools and nonreligious schools, the religious school is picked.

2. In games between Christian schools and schools with other religious affiliations, the Christian school is picked.

3. In games between Catholic schools and protestant schools, the Catholic school is picked.

4. In games between Catholic schools, the one with the highest degree of fidelity to the Magisterium is picked.

The rules are simple, and produce interesting results. I've taken the liberty of walking you through some of the more epic battles likely to take place when this method of bracket selection is applied. I've also taken liberty with the rules stated above, as a nod to those Magisterially unfaithful Catholic universities who love it when liberty gets taken with rules:

Midwest Round 2: Utah vs Wake Forest

One might think that the University of Utah is a state institution, but research reveals that it was actually founded by no less than Brigham Young himself, the Latter Day Saint of Latter Day Saints. Not only that, but its former name was the University of Deseret. And what, pray tell is Deseret? Well, it just happens to be the word for "honeybee" in the Jaredite language (hence, "The Beehive State"). For those of you who don't follow Mormon lore, the Jaredites were a tribe of people who sailed to the Americas during the construction of the Tower of Babel. I say the Baptists at Wake Forest will handily win this one.

West Round 4: BYU vs Marquette

Here's a fun quote from our pal Brigham Young:

"Now if any of you will deny the plurality of wives, and continue to do so, I promise that you will be damned."

Jesuit run-Marquette, all the way.

East Round 3: Villanova vs Duke

Duke's Divinity school has an impressive roster, with the likes of Stanley Hauerwas and Amy Hall, and I liked Grant Wacker's book on Pentecostalism. I feel my Methodist tendencies rising. This one goes into double overtime, before the Wildcats win on a buzzer beater.

Midwest Round 3: Wake Forest vs Siena

I really enjoyed Wake Forest president Nathan Hatch's The Democratization of American Christianity; it's a must-read for anyone who wants some historical insight into why we are the way we are. However, St. Catherine of Siena, as it's been depicted in art, has been assaulted by evil spirits before and risen victorious, my guess is that her battle with the Demon Deacons will be similarly successful.

South Round 4: Syracuse vs Gonzaga

I have family connections to Syracuse; my in-laws met there. However, with St. Patrick's day coming this week, it would be an act of betrayal to support the cause of Orangeism, especially as it has manifested itself in Ireland. Gonzaga wins, but the families of the two teams dispute it for the next several centuries.

East Round 4: Xavier vs. Villanova

Scanning the faculty and course descriptions of Villanova's theology department, they appear to be, in the words of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, "Mostly Harmless." They may be the devil I don't know. But the devil I do know is Xavier University, which is peppered with staff who think that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were the ancestors of the Marovingian kings, and that his body was eaten by wild dogs. Go 'Nova.

Midwest Round 3: Dayton vs Boston College

This is a tough one; Dayton has the Marian Library, which is pretty amazing. Boston College has Peter Kreeft, who might himself be considered a walking library. Plus, BC just put crucifixes back in the classrooms, which I applaud. Dayton could certainly take a hint or two when it comes to Catholic identity. However, because I have paid partial money toward an eventual degree at Dayton, I'll go with my potential future alma mater. Flyers in a squeaker.

Feel free to leave your own criteria for your bracket selection methodology in the combox below...

THE IDES.

Beware 'em!

Infectious? Inflammatory? Inconsequential?

Inimitable, at the very least:



Bow of the biretta to Fr. Finigan.

What My Democratic State Representative (Steve Driehaus) Sent To President Barack Obama Regarding My Tax Dollars Funding Overseas Abortions

Full text follows:

"Dear Mr. President:

"I am writing to express my disappointment in your executive order to rescind the Mexico City Policy which separated funding for abortion and family planning in America's foreign aid programs. I respectfully urge you to reconsider your position.

"First developed in the Reagan Administration, the Mexico City Policy separated family planning activities from abortion, therefore ensuring that groups who promote abortion as a method of family planning would not be able to fund their activities at the expense of American Taxpayers. The policy simply ensured that taxpayer money was not used abroad to fund highly controversial abortion providers. Its repeal sends the wrong message overseas that the United States promotes abortion.

"As a pro-life member of Congress, I have a deep respect for human life and am troubled by any policies that threatedn it. I appreciate your consideration of my position, and I look forward to working with you and your administration in the future.

Sincerely,

Steve Driehaus
Member of Congress."

Here's hoping he actually sent the letter. It was forwarded to me in response to my disgust at the possibility of the passage of the Freedom of Choice Act. The letter I receieved directly from Congressman Driehaus in response to my concern indicated that abortion was "one issue among many," and that Brave New World experimentation on the most vulnerable in our society was acceptable, as long as more biologically mature Americans could get better health care service.

As someone who didn't vote for Driehaus, but rather for his opponent (Steve Chabot, the man who spearheaded the bill making it illegal to stab scissors in the back of a partially-born infant's head), I applaud his intestinal fortitude on this matter, which puts him obviously out of step with many in his party. I can only hope that his trajectory on other related matters remains consistent with his position on the above matter.

And I hope that his mailing is not a mere attempt to pacify me.

I Do Not Think That Means What You Think It Means

In case you don't want to sit through the CNN interview that Bill Clinton did with Dr. Sanjay Gupta on the topic of Embryonic Stem Cell Research, I've gone to the trouble to excerpt the former president's thoughts on the issue of what "ethical" precautions the oversight committees should take when it comes to determining guidelines for the research:

"I think these committees need to make it clear that they're not gonna fool with any embryos where there's any possiblity, even if it's somewhat remote, that they could be fertilized and become human beings."

He and Hillary must be eating brownies out of the same pan these days. For those of you who failed sex-ed (or just snickered the whole time), an embryo is, by definition, fertilized. It is the successful union of sperm and egg.

It's incomprehensible to me that people who have this level of scientific understanding are being consulted for the determination of what is and is not scientifically permissible in the Brave New World.

Because They're Trying To Figure Out How To Make Cylons

A 'Battlestar Galactica' Panel Discussion At The United Nations

Upon The Feast Of St. Vindician

7th century bishop of Cambria. Preached against the excesses of the Marovingian kings, who were absolutely not the descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalen, despite what Dan Brown or other historical pretenders might have you think.

Fun With Hillary

With Bushisms in swift decline, it's nice to see Hillary step up to the plate, giving us some great soundbites from her trip to Europe (emphasis mine):

"It is hard enough with two parties to come to any resolution, and I say this very respectfully, because I feel the same way about our own democracy, which has been around a lot longer than European democracy."

The remark provoked much headshaking in the parliament of a bloc that likes to trace back its democratic tradition thousands of years to the days of classical Greece.

One working lunch later with EU leaders, Clinton raised more eyebrows when she referred to EU foreign policy chief Javier Solana, who stood beside her, as "High Representative Solano."

She also dubbed European Commission External Relations Commissioner Benita Ferrero-Waldner as "Benito.".

Another Reason Why This Is Not Just Like The Great Depression

As pundits and politicians continue to fire cannonballs of gloom and doom at our ever-sinking ship of consumer confidence, media outlets cannot seem to resist trying to convince us that our current situation is as bad as the Great Depression. They seem to forget that the rules of psychology also apply to the rules of economics in this regard, namely, that the more you talk about how Depressed you are, the more Depressed you get.

That being said, allow me to state emphatically that even though I've expanded my garden this year, and begun my foray into small animal husbandry, I in no way believe that it's As Bad Now As It Was Then. And to prove it, here's a story from West Virginia's News and Sentinel about how people actually lived during the Great Depression, when their greatest concern wasn't whether or not they'd be able to afford the cell phone bill:

When Amma resident Howard Carper Jr. was a boy in the late 1930s and early 1940s, he and his family survived on what the land would provide and little else.

Unlike many families in more urban settings, they had meat at most meals. In the fall, they butchered hogs. Otherwise, the woods around the farm yielded the family's meat.

Every day after school, Carper and his older brother, the late Roscoe Carper Sr., scoured the woods near the farm for whatever small game they could find. There were no deer in that area then, so they kept the family fed with small game.

It was a daily routine, the boys came home from school, their mother, Annie Carper, would perhaps thrust a biscuit in their pockets, Roscoe grabbed a .22 rifle and off the boys went in search of game. As night fell, they returned home and their mother cleaned the game, soaked the meat in saltwater and stored it in the cool spring house for consumption the following day.

Carper said the boys learned a great deal about animals. They learned how they behaved and knew where they lived.

"The groundhogs, muskrats, squirrels, rabbits, possums, skunks and raccoons sure had a hard time when me and Roscoe was boys," Carper said.

Their hunting style bears little resemblance to most hunting today. It was Depression-era hunting, hunting that the family not only relied on for sustenance, but with a maxim of shooting only when absolutely necessary.

Larger animals, such as raccoons, Roscoe dispatched with the .22 rifle. Squirrels, however, the younger Carper brother sometimes killed with his bare hands. Shells, after all, cost money. Minor injuries from bites did not.

"We hunted with dogs and when the dogs would tree a squirrel and he'd go in his hole. I had a pair of lineman's spikes and I climbed the tree, reach in the hole and pull him out by the tail," Carper recalled.

Squirrels have long, sharp teeth for breaking into hard nuts for the meat inside. Those teeth also are very efficient against the hands of young boys reaching into their dens.

"Squirrels have sure got some teeth. I've got scars on my hands today from those squirrels," he said.

One of the worst scars comes from a time when Carper was locked in a life-and-death struggle with a squirrel and the only weapons the boy had were his thumb and forefinger.

"I stuck my fingers in his hole to pull him out by the tail, but as I was reaching in, he was coming out headfirst and latched on to my little finger. He about bit it plum off. I was up in the tree trying to choke him with my fingers and Ross (Carper) yells up 'You can't fall down, it's about 100 feet straight down over the hill.' It took a good while, but I finally got that squirrel strangled with my fingers. I've still got a scar from that," he said.

Just as in Parkersburg, Carper said there was virtually no actual money circulating in the Roane County economy. Muskrat hides, however, were an unofficial legal tender in Roane County. He traded 13 muskrat hides for his first rifle, a .22 single-shot Winchester.

So next time you hear someone complain about how we're in another Great Depression, ask them if they've ever strangled a squirrel.

Upon The Feast Of St. John Of God

Apparently even 16th century Granada had its economic issues, and the dilemma of giving alms while in need was something that St. John himself dealt with. Perhaps some of our readers can relate:

I work here on borrowed money, a prisoner for the sake of Jesus Christ. And often my debts are so pressing that I dare not go out of the house for fear of being seized by my creditors. Whenever I see so many poor brothers and neighbors of mine suffering beyond their strength and overwhelmed with so many physical or mental ills which I cannot alleviate, then I become exceedingly sorrowful; but I trust in Christ, who knows my heart. And so I say, "Woe to the man who trusts in men rather than in Christ."

St. John died from an illness he contracted while saving a drowning man. Sweet irony.

Author's note: if you google "John of God," you come up with this guy, whose feast we definitely do not observe today.

Things That Make John Wycliffe Look Harmless: The Inclusive Bible

Holy Writ, Shackified. From the press release:

Not merely replacing male pronouns, the translators have rethought what kind of language has built barriers between the text and its readers.

I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. I'm even less interested in a castrated Bible than I am in castrated versions of Charles Wesley classic hymns.

It helps me to daydream about Frank Sheed and Maisie Ward punching through their coffins, clawing their way to the surface, and throttling the usurpers who continue to publish in their name.

To quote Sheed himself:

"We have known all our lives that God is not an old man with a beard (looking rather like Karl Marx, especially when the artist wanted to show God angry, which he often did). We have realized, too, that the more complex picture of an old man with a long beard, a young man with a short beard, and a dove bears no resemblance to the Blessed Trinity: it is merely the artist doing his best. But getting rid of the pictures is of value only if, in their place, we develop a truer idea of God: otherwise we have merely a blank where the pictures used to hang."

Dr. Alan Keyes Refuses To Comment

I recall that when Barack Obama met George Bush in the White House before the transition of power, Bush lamented that both he and the then president-elect had something in common: "we both had to debate Alan Keyes." That was before they had bailouts in common. If you're not familiar with the reasons why both Obama and Bush shudder at the very mention of Keyes' name, perhaps the following video will help clear things up:



I interviewed Dr. Keyes once. If I recall, it went something like this.

Saints In The News

For yours truly, one of the most amusing things about giving cities, hospitals, and schools a Catholic patronage are the anthropomorphic images that are conjured in my mind whenever these institutions make the news. I like to picture in my head that the saint, rather than the institution, is the party committing the particular act. As such, I plan to begin a new regular feature on this blog, highlighting some of the headlines I come across that are of particular amusement to me. For this installment, we have quite the glut of "saint news" fodder:

White Pigeon Falls Behind Early, Can’t Catch Up To St. Philip
Dude. It's a dove. And He's got incredible closing speed.

Snowboard Company Says St. Paul Trespassing Was Unintentional
If it's the St. Paul I know, I'm pretty sure it WAS intentional.

Holy Spirit Uses Depth To Win Swim Title
Unfair advantage- He was hovering over the waters.

Sacred Heart Has Fingers Crossed
Paging the mixed metaphor police...

Bishop Rolls Over Aquinas
That's quite the bump in the road there...

St Anthony Participates In Relay For Life Event
Did he place?

St. Augustine Swims To Third Crown In A Row
Hence the connection with Hippo.

St John Considers Extending Waste Contract
Patmos must have lousy plumbing.

St Rita Plans Mardi Gras Parade To Be Remembered
Rosary beads will fly.

"He Hit Me Back First."

Creative Minority Report has the best response so far to the ahistorical smear job currently being filmed by Ron Howard, one that he'd never, EVER do against Judaism or Islam:

let's see how the press is reporting it:

Variety: "Catholic League to battle 'Demons'"
Hundu: "Angels and Demons" under Catholic attack
UK Guardian: Catholic League targets Da Vinci Code prequel
Variety: "The Catholic League plans to do battle with the Ron Howard pic "Angels and Demons"
National Post: Catholic League denounces Angels and Demons

Isn't the exact opposite of these headlines closer to the truth? Isn't the one who instigates usually assigned the action verb? But in this case the defense itself is seen as the aggression. Hmmm. Wonder why?

I'm trying to think of some other incidents in history which maybe could be turned upside down in a similar way:

1939: Poland Shoots at Visiting Nazis.
2005: Jennifer Aniston Undermines Angelina Jolie's Attempt at Relationship
33AD (Circa): Jesus Gives Pilate the Silent Treatment
1998: Kenneth Starr Has a Dirty Mind for Writing the Starr Report; Clinton Shocked (Oh wait, that was actually how the media really reported it at the time.)
64 AD: People Screaming "Fire!" Interrupts Nero's Concert

Touche. But remember, according to the Recieved Wisdom, a small fraction of Catholic priests (smaller, statistically, than schoolteachers or nondenominational pastors) once did some horrible things to children, for which non-guilty Catholic parties have apologized multiple times, so it's okay to proliferate whatever falsehoods one invents against this, the one institution on the face of the planet that has sexually violated more human beings than the cheerleading coach population and killed more people than Stalin- oh wait, nevermind, contradictory statistics are readily available through Wikipedia.

It's practically axiomatic that those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it. It should also be axiomatic that those who ignore history are doomed to repeat themselves.

They Came And They Took Without Giving

In a move likely inspired by the First Earth Battalion, a mall in Christchurch, New Zealand has decided that if Hannah Montana is successful in drawing unruly youth to their premises, perhaps "Copacabana" may be successful in driving them away. In order to stem the problem of loitering teens, mall officials have decided that playing the songs of Barry Manilow (or, as my father-in-law refers to him, "Barely Manenough") overhead in their common areas could be useful in either pacifying the miscreants, or perhaps driving them away:

"The intention is to change the environment in a positive way ... so nobody feels threatened or intimidated," Central City Business Association manager Paul Lonsdale told The Associated Press. "I did not say Barry Manilow is a weapon of mass destruction."

A group of several dozen young people regularly spread rubbish, spray graffiti, get intoxicated, use drugs, swear and intimidate patrons at the outdoor mall, he said.

The city council, police and local property owners covering 410 businesses agree that "nice, easy listening" music like Manilow's "Can't Smile Without You,""Mandy" and other hits might change the behavior of loitering teens.

Hot Topic, prepare to watch your sales plummet. Fluff of the fro to Red Cardigan.

And while we're on the subject, here's one of my all-time favorite renditions of a Manilow classic:

Why Fish On Fridays?

Here's an excerpt from Eegahinc's latest catechetical effort. For the rest, check out his consistently amusing site.

Ubermensch: T Minus Six Months And Counting

Fertility technology has existed for years that allows parents to select the gender of their offspring, typically by mixing sperm and egg in a petri dish and killing all the fertilized embryos that don't meet the criteria of the highly discerning parents' taste in offspring.

However, new technology is on the rise that will allow Frankenparents to select things like eye and hair color for their progeny, much in the way they might edit their Mii profile. Fortunately, at least a few people have noticed this disturbing trend and are saying something about it:

Dr. Jeff Steinberg has already let thousands decide their kids' gender. Now he says that within the next six months, the Manhattan and L.A. offices of his Fertility Institutes will let would-be moms and dads pick whether junior has blue or brown eyes or black or blond hair.

"In the process of doing gender selection ... we've also uncovered the technology [to] characterize things like eye and hair color," said Steinberg, 54.

The idea of a Build-A-Bear style baby was slammed Monday by bioethicists and right-to-life groups - and Pope Benedict has warned against it for years.

The Pope railed against the "obsessive search for the perfect child" just two weekends ago. "A new mentality is creeping in that tends to justify a different consideration of life and personal dignity," he said.

Steinberg countered that reproductive technologies aren't about to go away.

"Genetic health is the wave of the future," he said. "It's already happening and it's not going to go away. It's going to expand. So if they've got major problems with it, they need to sit down and really examine their own consciences because there's nothing that's going to stop it."

(snip)

Steinberg, one of the doctors who helped produce the first test-tube baby, admits the technology isn't 100% - and says for now the best results are with couples of Scandinavian heritage, whose gene pools are the least diluted. (Aryan emphasis mine).

"Say you made seven embryos, and one of them has got the highest chance of green eyes, and that chance is 80%. It's not perfect science because eye and hair color are not perfect genetics," said Steinberg, who opened an office on E. 40th St. two months ago.

Speaking of 80%, that's 11 points below the figure on children diagnosed with Down's Syndrome who never get born. Looks like humanity is willing to put no limits on its self-imposed survival of the fittest.

Reminds us of this gem by pioneering eugenicist and Planned Parenthood founder Margaret Sanger:

"Our failure to segregate morons who are increasing and multiplying... demonstrates our foolhardy and extravagant sentimentalism ... [Philanthropists] encourage the healthier and more normal sections of the world to shoulder the burden of unthinking and indiscriminate fecundity of others; which brings with it, as I think the reader must agree, a dead weight of human waste...

We are paying for, and even submitting to, the dictates of an ever-increasing, unceasingly spawning class of human beings who never should have been born at all."

Farewell, human weeds.

Marjoe, Watch Your Back

These kids might give the famous boy preacher a run for his money...

Upon The Feast Of St. Chad

The saint whose feast we observe today holds the unique distinction of being the only saint to have his own entry on Snopes. The mythbusting is connected with the fiasco surrounding the electoral dispute of 2000, when the word "chad" instantly evoked images of little pieces of paper that didn't punch out right:

Somewhere in the furor, someone noticed there had once been a Catholic saint of this name, and a hasty perusal of the details of his life appeared to link him to a disputed election. This link kicked in the irony afterburners. It didn't take long for statements of "St. Chad would be the perfect patron saint for disputed elections" to "St. Chad is the patron saint of disputed elections.

The "hasty perusal" referred to above was likely a reference to the fact that the liturgical norms of Chad's consecration as bishop were not observed, and that he was sent to fill the seat of a dead bishop who wasn't dead yet. Technically speaking, the Church doesn't recognize St. Chad as the patron saint of disputed elections, but I'm sure next time you find yourself in that kind of a situation, St. Chad wouldn't mind hearing from you.

"Those Who Know Don't Talk, And Those Who Talk Don't Know."

Phil Lawler has an insightful column at USA Today about the woefully inadequate handling of the public relations disaster surrounding the lifting of the excommunication of SSPX Bishop Richard Williamson:

(Many) do not realize that Benedict XVI (has) not restored Williamson and the other SSPX bishops to regular status. Those four bishops are still suspended from public ministry; the lifting of their excommunications was only one step in a process of reconciliation. But the media message that carried the day: Williamson, an anti-Semite, was back in business.

Yet the story has even more depth and context that the Vatican failed effectively to correct: Neither Williamson's original excommunication in 1988 nor the pope's decision to revoke it were related in any way to his extreme political views. Under the canon law that governs church affairs, excommunication is a rare disciplinary action, used only for certain specific offenses (such as, in this case, ordaining a bishop without approval from the Holy See). The church does not formally excommunicate members for their political views, even when those views are repugnant to Catholic teachings — as, for example, in the case of Catholic politicians who favor unrestricted legal abortion."

One of the most significant aspects of this story that has been vastly overlooked is the fact that fellow SSPX Bishop Bernard Fellay has renounced the anti-semitic views of Williamson, something that would have never happened unless the excommunications had been lifted.

And for the record, the only place that Rich Williamson is a bishop is in the (still) schismatic Society of St. Pius X. I just wish that someone from the Vatican would make that a little clearer.

Good Day

Paul Harvey: 9/4/1918-2/28/09.

He's currently getting the rest of the story.